Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
What a day I had, a beautiful one on the exterior but within I lacked the kick, the energy and most of the time my concentration. But now as I sit before my PC with the intention of connecting with you all I could sense in myself a glimpse of peace especially after I had my good o’le cup of cold coffee. As I inscribe these words, light cold breeze is titillating my face and the quietude outside is enthralling the mind. So I take two deep breadths and try my best to bring focus on the matter at hand.
Its been a week where I have met new faces and fortunately the experiences of their proximity is a positive one as well. However, few old faces remain engraved in mind and I only wonder when and how would I be able to meet them, if I meet them at all.
Has anyone of you experienced ten emotions in one go, I think not and to be honest it is neither a wonderful feeling. As we grow up our perspective alters completely about many of the things which we once considered crucial or vital for our existence.
Happiness, which is the main driving force behind our every act and deed, is such an impermanent state; besides for each of us happiness has different connotations. We strive to acquire one thing, we achieve it, we are happy and the very next moment we want something new, hence the unhappiness arises. But happiness is beyond all the material things and relationships; it is the subtle energy of lightness and joy which comes from somewhere deep inside us, which we all have experienced at one time or the other. Actually, it is this joy and peace that we try to find in everything and everyone and fail miserably, because we look at the outward sources to give us something which we already have within and its just a matter of tapping into zone.
So be in all the joy my dearests…..
My love to all.
Sonya. (Day 141)
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