Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Life is getting too fast and the younger lot even faster, the speed with which they operate whether in life or in technology is a wonder in itself. Although I don’t actually belong to the 40’s or 60’s generation but still I cannot familiarize myself to these drastic developments. I was thinking just this morning that I am actually conservative and very traditional in every way. Now times are changing so are the values and standards of living and surviving in this world. In today’s time I often hear people saying: sab chalta hai! (everything you do is ok)
For instance these days whether teenagers or people in their mid-twenties are far more candid as well as expressive about their relationships something which was and probably still considered a taboo in some parts of our society. Even when it comes to their lifestyles, professional ethics and values in general everything is different. Then there are also the ones who have different standards for themselves and when it comes to reviewing others they suddenly become value-oriented and pious.
Me, my friends and their peers are still hanging to or more appropriately clinging on to the values engraved by our elders, either consciously and/or unconsciously. Everything is in black and white for us and there are simply no grey areas. We have definitive ways of living, our attire and we are very particular as to how we are perceived by others, we just cannot take it easy. Most of the girls I meet, of course we have exceptions as well, are either completely oblivious or if they are aware they are simply not bothered about the impression they are leaving in general. Which brings me back to the point that is it of any worth or value the standards which my peers and I are following so diligently?
I guess the answer to this question is not straightforward and variable; besides each one of us has different opinions on the matter, therefore, it is only prudent to leave the answer on the coming times because it is only in future that we shall reap the fruits of our present.
And until that time arrives I shall continue to hold on to what I believe is dear to me. So help me God!
However, my love for all of you shall never change in any time……
Sonya. (Day 168)
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