Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
When brain muscles are too tensed words doesn’t seem to come
forth easily. Tensed because I feel drowsy and I’m forcefully keeping myself
awake to write today’s post. Nothing significant is manifesting though I’m
trying my best to write something that might interests you but still I fail
myself. No TV, no news, no updates on anyone’s wedding; just plain me without
any words.
There are days when I would just feel lethargic without any
reason. Just don’t want to do anything and become laid back. It is never a
welcome feeling but this is what I have and I guess I have no option but to
feel it fully.
Or may be I worry too much or probably I like to worry all
the time. The moment somebody leaves home my anxiety gets ignited and as clocks
tick and tick my anxiety level rises and rises. Some people like me are born with
this anxiety feeling though they express it in other forms, yet it is there at
the back of our minds. The worst thing about any feeling is that it is like a
virus so if one is affected the others are bound to feel it as well. Have you
ever seen that if a person is angry then few moments later someone else in the
same vicinity becomes agitated.
After being aware of this strange phenomena I am mostly on
my guard so I would not dwell in any state for longer time periods. It is
because every thought has magnetic energy and it attracts similar thoughts. So
it is one thing after another.
Although half of the November has already passed except
slightly chilled breeze at night there are still no signs of true winter;
however, it does gets a bit pleasant during the day. Thanks to the global
warming every season has changed from what it once used to be.
If I would say something more it would be like dragging this
post, so I end it now.
Good Night!
Sonya. (239)
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