Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Finding order in
the disorders of life is probably the trick of great living. Irrespective what occurs
in the periphery or outer boundaries of our life, the centre our core should
always be in peace & deep gratitude. Once the inner foundation is there the
outer structure shall itself fall into place.
Weather is
finally getting lighter and windy and now we await monsoons. There is something
magical about rain, something that couldn’t be expressed in words. Dark grey
skies, soft breezes, fragrance emerging from earth as rain precipitates from
the air and the aroma of pakoras from kitchen only add to the delights of this
beautiful weather.
Rain during the
day has different impact while the one in the night casts another spell on us.
I especially love the glistening reflection of orange and red hued streetlights
and cars at night; sometimes passing by rickshaw play songs quite
appropriate for the occasion and I feel that it is the glimpse of heaven.
My mind is mechanically
engaged on many different fronts thinking and planning at least five things at
a time, whilst I become a silent observer in the background of all this. It is
such a pity that 90% of our mind’s planning is done without there being any
need of it. We are always mentally busy either in the grievance of past or
anxiety about the future while our life unfolds right in this moment.
With all this
going on it is challenging for me to concentrate on this post, I have quite a
lot to say but it seems as every thread in mind is weaving its on fabric
without any coordination with each other. Resultantly I have to pause before
beginning new paragraphs something that I never appreciate while writing.
So I believe its
better to leave on the pleasant note….
Have a wonderful
weekend!
Sonya. (Day 321)
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