Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Days are running faster then electric trains and I am trying my best to calmly travel from one station to another station. All of a sudden the life that had been missing activity is seeing all the razzmatazz. New avenues are opening up and I can say that I have never felt better, because there is no time to feel or think.
Your emotions,
thoughts, ideas of self always limit you of your own potential or may be we are
scared to explore things outside our mindset. I think its fine to allow ourselves
to do what we really like, of course that must not involve hurting or damaging
anyone, but once to follow illogicality of your heart rather than the logic of
your mind.
You live your life
believing you can do this or cannot do this, setting limitations on yourself
but then you are thrown into the deep end. You have the choice to either sink
or swim and if you manage to swim then life takes you to another level.
I have lived my
life with strictest boundaries and pre-decided ideas of how things should be
but honestly that’s not the way to live. Mainly because life doesn’t go by mind
plans but it responds to the deepest feelings of heart. I have read somewhere
that our feelings, being energy, are like magnet and what ever we attract in
our lives is the result of how we feel and not what we deliberately plan with
our minds.
When our mind asks
to perform a task and if our heart is not in alignment then we hardly ever
achieve our desired goals. Or we might achieve something due to our hard work
but very soon it will loose its viability to us.
I am getting grips
of stitching and it is slowly growing on me; I am hopeful that soon I shall
overcome my fears for this art. With everything that is going around me I am
content that I have managed to regularize my daily chores, the things which I
found unnecessary or dull are becoming part of my routine.
Need to get some
rest now, so I say my Good Nights!
Sonya. (Day 317)
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