Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Before I sat down for starting today’s post I thought of going about with something different but when I began the theme did not appeal me hence I decided to set aside it all together.
It is wise at times to leave certain things as they are and not try to fix all that we don’t like or want, doing nothing is sometimes the best thing which one could do.
I need a psychic today to tell me few things; to look at the other side and give me some insights if possible. There are occasions when we are content in not knowing certain things; nevertheless, there are also these unsatisfied moments when we must know irrespective of the nature of what manifests as the consequence of our desire- but we must know!
I am not sure of any of the above made any sense to any of you however it was much needed to come forth.
I seriously thought of making some calls to people I haven’t met for a year or two but then I got skeptical of the whole idea; I surrendered the whole matter to God and asked for Him to guide me (by the way this surrendering mode has become my default mode and a standard practice for everything that I do, even before I decide to cook anything). After that I have to be alert to know the answer as it would come in any form or way, and it did or at least I believe it did- it was in negative, period.
As much as I knew this is the answer in my best interests I could feel in me a certain discomfort, the alleged answer is not giving me the peace it is supposed to give. So what should I do then? Fantastic! another question..
Well my ramblings would go on and on they must not become a nuisance for you all.
After a long time I absolutely enjoyed my Sunday otherwise it used to be extremely boring and dull for me and then tomorrow comes Monday with all its glory and innumerable possibilities.
So in the possibilities I dwell.
And I pray for immeasurable love and possibilities for you all.
Much love.
Sonya. (Day 125)
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