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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Sense & Sensibility

I always look in awe at the people who are peppy or in positive spirits most of the time, the energy or the vibe they emit is amazing and it has the capability of transforming the frequency of all those that are around them. I only stand in astonishment and wonder what do they do differently?

As the day begins we all have our shares of anxiety or stress or fear in one form or the other in varying degrees. With so much going on every moment then how these positive people get around the day? Is there some strategy they adopt or is it the way their constitution has been built by God?

I guess that it is our purpose in life to find out our own answers to these questions-by the process of trial and error, if we are not built naturally to be positive then it would our individual goal and journey to discover that which not only works best for us individually but for everybody collectively.

Most of the Ramadan has passed and now this is the time of last 10 days for all the devotees to sit and experience the wondrous Itekaaf. Itekaaf is applying oneself assiduously to something. It is a voluntary Islamic ritual to gain virtue in both the worldly life and the life after our departure from this world. During Itekaaf we confine our self to a particular place, for women it is a secluded place at home and for men it would be the mosque, for prescribed days away from worldly life disengaging from the worldly routine to worship God with full concentration and focus.

I have been fortunate a couple of times to experience the grace and magnificence of Itekaaf myself and to be honest the entire course of my life changed after that. Although I perform nafl/optional Itekaaf of 3-4 days in Ramadan as compared to the 10 days of Sunnah; however, the impact that it left on my mind, body and soul is inexplicable.
I was probably going through my adult life crisis in 2004 when I first decided to sit in Itekaaf and when I finished it a subtle transformation in my life began, an entire new avenue opened up for me which I could have never comprehended through my mortal mind. Of course life was not rosy pink after that; in fact I faced immense changes and huge challenges in my career and personal life and went through emotional turmoil and breaking points. Nothing was like it was before, everything started to change very slowly and gradually, the material structures or human forms, which are always impermanent and transient in nature, I naively use to believe them to be permanent began to collapse. And then finally I got a glimpse of Something which everyone of us is in search for along with the love, the peace & the joy.
Albeit I am still on my journey and I am still a seeker and not a finder but all that has been experienced is definitely worth the challenges and changes.

For each of one of us however there is a highly individualized curriculum set by God so what I went through might not necessarily be your experience it could be something more beautiful and deep. Or the whole ritual could be meaningless to you as soon as you get down into hustle or bustle of everyday life. Whatever it would be it is only to make us realize our full potential as human beings and our purpose on this earth.

Huh too philosophical or whatever ical. Need to say adieus loved ones.

Have a great day…

Sonya. (Day 120)



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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more