Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Unexpected twist
and turn in life at times make it difficult to focus on anything so it is wise
to withdraw, and return only when the senses are stabilized. Past few weeks my
mind has been engrossed in various activities so I was unable to concentrate on
anything else. Now finally when calmness is returning I am able to return to
the usual environ. I would like to add that there is nothing to worry about me
or the people around me, its all good by the Grace of God.
I thank for your
concern and for constantly sending me your emails and messages to return to the
blog- It is so wonderful to be missed. I do understand desire to communicate
and I do understand how much it means to all. Yet I have to say that sometimes
my immediate commitments, my family, work takes up most of my time and
attention. It does become physically impossible to attend to all, instantly. I
feel responsible towards the Blog posts and maintaining the connection but at
times by staying away, I merely seek time to be able to get back to you at
appropriate level and time.
There has also been
some new development in my academic life; however, until everything is
confirmed and finalized I cannot reveal any details. It is a childhood thing
with me; in my childhood or even teenage whenever I used to do anything
significant my late grandmother always made a point that until and unless
everything is perfectly settled no details about it should be revealed to
anybody; it must be kept as a hush-hush affair.
She believed
that when we unnecessarily talk about something in its initial phase then it is
destined to be jinxed. Nevertheless, when everything is finalized and properly
settled that there are no chances of any negative impact, then we can go
ahead and talk about it.
Unwillingly though
but I have inherited this trait from my grandmother, so as and when I get green
signals from all directions I promise to talk about it and in rather detail.
Hope and
expectation when gets shattered it is a challenging situation to endure.
Sometimes we unknowingly get hurt and more of the times we keep our ourselves
happily in denial. We hope and expect certain things to manifest the way we
wish yet instinctively we know that we are living in fool’s paradise. And one
fine day when the reality hits us right in our face, having no option we sheepishly
laugh on our stupidity.
With best
regards..
Sonya. (Day 304)
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