Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
There are times
when I have the most interesting relationship with food, from the instances
where I eat to live and other when I live to eat. These days latter situation
is prevalent and I am going out of my way to eat all that I enjoy, some of
which includes deep fried food, biryani and so on. The problem is that when I
am having all those sort of food I eat believing that I have a tanker rather
than a regular sized stomach and my main aim is to fill it to the fullest. Plus
there isn’t any kind of exercise currently in my life, so I need all your
prayers to come out of the my latest obsession with food.
This is not the
first time that I am facing such situation but it has been my pattern for quite
some time. In my early childhood we didn’t have the kind of health awareness
that today’s kids and parents have. I used to drink crate (with 24 bottles) of
cola in just three days and my favourite chips were full of tartar. God knows
what that crap had done to my system.
The Gentleman who
owned the grocery store from whom I used to buy chips and cola on regular basis
complained to my mom about my unhealthy munching habits. As this was done without
my mom having any idea about it, under the loving supervision of my late
Grandmother.
My Grandmother
belonged to the era where if a person was slim it was considered that the
person belonged to under privileged class. So, the more healthy (read fat) you
are the more prosperous you are. She didn’t knew what tartar meant or the side
effects of cola all she knew that her granddaughter should have all the things
she love.
Thankfully I
never became obese because the health conscious side of my mom always had
prominence in my life. My mom was very careful that I don’t develop sweet
tooth let alone have unhealthy lifestyle. However sometimes you want to rebel from being the conscious and careful person; ironically the person who gets most
affected by such revolt is no one but me.
Tomorrow I shall
be experimenting with some new things, lets see if I have the talent or skill
to do justice with the tasks I have taken on myself.
A very Good
Evening to all.
Sonya. (Day 309)
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