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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Colours


         Colours are the perfect therapy for my highly inquisitive and hyper-active mind. When I am with colours every thought every distraction vanishes and I regain my focus. Few times my refuge in colours start as an automatic process, its like my system knows when I need to step back and relax. So here are couple of my relaxation moments, I have completed the one above today and just wanted to show you guys.


'Midnight Blue', Oil Canvas
 
'The Yellow Palace', Oil Pastel and Pencil Colours
I have started to keep colour pencils and a sketchbook with me while I am at work, so when I get stressed I just draw vague lines and colour for few minutes in whichever way I feel like.

Similarly, when I need to express and share- this blog becomes my voice. Its actually quite wonderful to have various outlets to say what you wish because some things just get bottled up and if you do not express then they would explode within.

Although I am blessed to have many people around who listen to me but sometimes you just need to speak more loudly so that the echo of your words reach everywhere.

People ask me why do I paint or write blog and if I do then why do I need to be so candid about myself. Some even believe that with all this I try to pose as an intellectual to impress others or to make some point. However, my dear friends I am neither an intellectual nor I dare to impress anybody.

I feel that I am in the company of my friends and I simply try to talk to them and express how I feel through my posts and colours. In fact I feel more like a child who comes to school and enthusiastically shares everything with her classmates and friends. There is no sense of superiority here.

There are instances in life when things don’t make any sense, you try and try but you fail. When you want to get answers, you end up with more questions. May be it is better not to find answers and let things be because you cannot know everything. We humans have very limited capacity to understand life and people in it. Nevertheless, you live in hope that one day you will find all the answers and all mysteries shall be solved, peacefully & lovingly for all involved. Amen.

A very Good Evening to all!

Sonya Syed. (Day 372)


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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Post a Comment
Read more