Sonya Syed

Emotional attachment or attachment of any kind with either material things or humans are many times cause of pain and the biggest impediments in taking rational and just decisions. These decisions in themselves are not tough but our attachment to their content makes it difficult for us to decide. I too have taken a major decision, at first it appeared rather impossible but on close inspection when a certain threshold of apprehension and attachment was reached fear immediately subsided and everything fell into its place and emerged therefrom a peaceful and focused answer. What shall be the modus operandi when one has exhausted all mortal resources to manifest few things in life, should we continue to fight, be in a rut and resist the reality or should we surrender and do whatever this moment requires us to do? I don’t have answers to any of these questions because our mortal mind is so limited in its capacity to see the reality (reality with the capital R) of everything that even tryi

Thank you Naved for your suggestions I shall read David Copperfield, as for Runaway Jury I have read it and must I say what an incredible book it is, a very fine thriller indeed. Mornings are always bright, beautiful and beckoning hope; I am the best in mind, body & spirit in the earliest hours of the day however as the time passes further ahead things do begin to slow down a bit. But never mind at this very moment it is morning and this is what all there is. Patience begins with tolerance and understanding for others’ behaviour and bearing everything with grace; nevertheless, there are instances when one would like to explode due to rage. These are the times when all spiritual data should come into force and result in peace, forbearance and compassion not only for others but also for ourselves but the point is that do we really want peace and do we really want to come out of our miseries, the answer is NO. We are addicted to our suffering, our pain, our fears, our stress, our an

I have sent quite a few emails today mostly professional but somehow I feel more real with hand written letters formally on paper, envelopes and postage stamps, there is a sense of tradition there. However the kind of techno developments we have in this age it is not possible for us to ignore them anymore; everything has become very swift, sophisticated and impersonal. The allegedly dark clouds which were hovering over my skies yesterday have given way to a brighter and open day. Things are after all settled so now I am glad to have a better perspective and a clearer mind. Almost for a week I have been reading or at least trying my best to read Bleak House by Charles Dickens, it’s a long novel and I give up reading after six pages into the book and then began again. He is such a renowned author that having such an attitude towards his work makes me feel somewhat impolite. Occasionally it is fine to read spiritual material or books of insights into human nature but not always, every s

Language when fails you, when thoughts disagree to materialize and the emotions get stuck up at a singular place then this I would say is my current state of mind. Reasons for the condition might not be acknowledged or appreciated by others because how I perceive something is entirely different as to how others look at it; something which is a triviality for others might be substantial for me. Of all the skills that I have learned during my life one is left and that would be my ability to deal with the emotions of others, I just cannot desensitize myself I have to feel whatever is there for me to feel which at times is totally unnecessary. It’s fine when one is sensitive but being highly sensitive is a curse. In the latter case one goes through needless and avoidable suffering but what to do if one is manufactured in this way. Prayers for a miracle to alter this inherent trait is the only possible solution that I could think of. By the way I had two out of the blue anti-tetanus vacc

It’s a beautiful evening here in Karachi, light breezes, bright and sunny yet not too warm, just perfect. The rain hasn’t fallen onto our land till now; however, the way wind is blowing it appears that monsoon is just around the corner. Monsoon is a blessing for the children here and not so much of a favourite amongst the adults. Karachi although has inherent beauty and grace but like human face it requires constant maintenance and care. Albeit there have been a flood of overheads and underpasses, thousands of tree plantations within this metropolitan however these are merely cosmetic changes; they are similar to several cosmetic surgeries done on a 60 year old person’s face who has unhealthy eating habits, who is a chain smoker and an alcoholic so whatever beauty procedures you would do on such face would not last for long, and sooner than later the ugliness, the scars and marks of such surgeries would appear. And one of such scars become evident in Karachi when the monsoon season

Just by making few simple alterations in the room everything looks fresh & crisp. Small chores at home take up most of the time; the simplest & the most basic room in the house is mom’s its very easy to manage on the other hand my room although not filled with too much stuff yet its not easy to handle every corner of it. I just changed the bed cover in both my and Amma’s room; in her room it took me effortless 5-8 minutes whereas my covers took 15-20 minutes and with lot of effort and roaming around the room. Conflict or disagreement even within 10 miles radius of me disturbs my functioning in every respect; I become lethargic and sulky. Then I ask myself where I could get an environment where all is love, peace & bliss 24/7, 365 days a year. The only place which comes to the mind then is heaven however the irony is that we live on this earth where change is inevitable, where there are different people coming together from different situations with their particular mindset

Before saying anything else I shall first thank all of you from the depths of my heart for showing me your immense love towards our blog. All I can say is that I am humbled but at the same time I also feel more responsible for what I shall write. The sleep once again dominates the mind but there is also a desire to talk and until that is done it shall keep me restless. I thought that today I shall be in a better form yet the body is still exhausted from the works of yesterday and some of its continuation today. Fridays are great, Saturdays are exceptional but Sundays they depress me or drains me of all the energy. It could be due to the Monday which shall soon barge in and signals to us another week of work and interaction with an outside world. If I ever to get in power I am going to make Monday an optional holiday without any pay cuts. For me this week is going to bring with itself several prospects of work but how much fruitful they are it is yet to be seen. There was a time when

What a day I had, full of vigor and vitality. There wasn’t a single moment when I could be with myself but then again do we need to have certain circumstances in order to be with ourselves. It fills one with immense pleasure when we get an opportunity to do something for others especially when that something makes them joyous. So the younger lot in the family decided to have barbecue tonight, half of the day went in preparations and the other half in the barbecue itself and when the clock struck 12 at midnight then it was the time when I had my dinner but no regrets. What is important that everyone had a great time and yes the tiredness is now bordering to exhaustion; however, all is well. So tonight I ask for you to excuse this very brief blog because if I sit a moment longer my spinal cord would start shouting from tension. Good night with a promise to be in better spirits morrow. Sonya. (Day 90)

It is a well known fact that inherent trait of carbohydrates is to relax our body and to make us prone to sleep or at least get a nap. However it is not the case with me today because as I was trying to rest some thoughts or more precisely some insights into human nature came to me full throttle and I am unable to rest until I provide them an outlet for expression. So here they are- I am going to keep the identities of the people that I will talk about anonymous because I am very fond of them and second they are very well-known public figures/celebrities of international repute. However I shall name one of them as Mr. X and the other Ms. Y. Both Mr. X and Ms. Y have family ties but are not related by blood, Mr. X is quite fond of Ms. Y and whenever he gets an opportunity he expresses his fondness, admiration and respect towards her; in fact there are moments when he even ignores his own flesh & blood of such accolades. He is so much compassionate towards her that even if

There is nothing to write, nothing to discuss, nothing to reminisce just plain idle mind with no inflow of thoughts. Contemporary gadgets are there to occupy the idle mind but subsequently it all reaches a threshold and we become immune to its enchantment, its not alluring any longer. Night is falling in quickly yet there is no inclination to repose. Nevertheless, time presses us to give in and let sleep does it wonders. Morning, yes morning would afresh the brain cells, give them the required zest. With the hope to have an active, positive yet creative day. Love and sweet dreams for all………. Sonya.(Day 88)

For two days I have not been myself I was frustrated, irritated and was looking for moments where I could get angry, even the younger lot in the house wasn’t safe. Thankfully I got out of those emotions without any damage neither to me nor to anybody close to me. Probably a few sulky and snappy moments but that was it. I felt feelings which I could not name because that was the very first time I experienced them. By yesterday’s night I was so sick of going through them that I desperately prayed for all of it to go away. In the midst of all this I realized something which I find rather astonishing and a must share with you all; I internally became the witness of whatever I was feeling and experiencing, it was like there was two of us the one who was behaving erratically and having all those negative emotions and other was a silent observer of it all. To put it more accurately one was the space, the silence, the stillness or the plane vast ground on which all those emotions were fallin

Mind comes into a relaxed mode after a healthy meal and one gets a finer grip on thinking; probably because deep relaxation is a high state of alertness. If someone wants to quit any kind of addiction there is only one way and that is to go cold turkey, however, in case of alcoholism or substance abuse please consult your doctor. The addiction I am referring to is about endlessly watching TV or playing video games. From past couple of days the TV set in my room has lost its senses and all we are able to receive from it are voices from unknown frequencies. Since my room is multi function one where I have my lunch or dinner sometime glued to TV (a habit I don’t approve of for anybody) or a much preferred sitting area for my family & friends. Whoever visit us always prefer to be seated in my room the reason of which is still not known to me till date. The latest movie I had a chance to watch was a classic Cat on a Hot Tin Roof on TCM, a channel dedicated to telecast Hollywood clas

I cannot stand that I need to carry the battery of my laptop wherever I go what is the use of having a laptop when one can’t even put it on lap and constantly require electric supply to keep it alive & working. When I use to work on a system fixed in one corner of my room I so much wanted to have a laptop and was not happy for the lack of mobility. And before I had my PC I felt lack for not having a PC. If you look at the pattern closely you would notice that I always felt lack & dissatisfaction and wanted more; I got more and more however the satisfaction period was brief. Once I got what I wanted then I would again ride high on the horses of my desire and wishes, it seems like bottomless pot which could never be filled, the more we put into it the more it remains empty. Lack & dissatisfaction are typical human traits and I personally think are the foundations of greed. Whenever we look at our state and say to ourselves “ boy I don’t have anything or what I have is not en

After 4 years of waiting and inability to write normally I finally visited the doctor to have a check up of my hand and to my amazement I am diagnosed with Writer’s Cramp. I must admit that on hearing this I felt a bit privileged because this problem usually happens to people who excessively use their hands like violinists, pianists or people who write a lot; so I felt as if I am some sort of an artist or a creative person. Anyways coming back to the cramp it is nothing serious at all except that I would not be able to write properly for some time, although there is medication for this but I’m not interested in taking anything. The researchers have outlined few reasons however like hundreds of other health problems they are unable to determine the real cause, all they could do is give possible multiple explanations. To be honest now I don’t have much faith in medications. The drugs merely have a placebo effect the real healing happens from somewhere unknown, like when we get a cut on

I don’t have any idea from where or how to begin because today has been overwhelming for me. After several years of putting a lot of effort, perseverance and sincerity in my relationships I am ecstatic to receive the fruits of my intentions. Like so many I have made some silly mistakes and behaved in ways which were non-loving, when my actions were unkind and they did not reflect my true feelings. It had been more of action-reaction instead of action-response with dignity, humility and understanding. When the people who were directly or indirectly involved in the matter acknowledged my efforts and intention and realized that I authentically tried to atone for my actions. What could be better than to be forgiven and to forgive, to be allowed to heal and to start afresh. It feels as if I have acquired the riches of the universe, the feeling of abundance has completely taken over my entire being and out of these emotions emerged humility, gratitude and the hint from God that I should con

Thank you so much all the dear ones for giving such a warm response for these pictures, thanks a lot for all your emails and messages. It is no wonder that most of the friends who responded with such affection are those who are now living in different parts of the globe where they have every facility which one could think of but nothing can ever match the place where they were born and brought up; where they spent their childhood. No matter how much of a luxurious treatment you receive at a five star hotel nothing could beat the comfortableness of a Home . I definitely need to see an expert doctor for my hand nerves/muscle numbness. For the last 4 years I have trouble in writing and my inscription has become more like a child, it was in this very state that I gave exams of my Master of Laws (LLM). Nobody to blame here because it has been my own doing, few years ago I became fanatical with my exercise routine and did some weight training and in my sheer eagerness (please read stupidi

Thankfully the storm passed by Karachi peacefully and so there is a sense of relief and lots of gratitude. However the dilemma of load shedding is still looming around all of us I think we should say serious prayers to get rid of this issue once and for all. If only I could be in government then I would have made sure that every part of country has a continuous electric supply. Yeh right!! I am posting some pictures I took in the evening from our terrace of the skies after the rain. It seems that everything goes through some sort of metamorphosis; from flowers to trees, the entire atmosphere looks fresh and pristine. Enjoy and love to all. Sonya. (Day 81)

Ah the rain descents after all. Its past midnight now and I can’t but imbibe enough within myself the night’s beauty. Quietly it began drizzling as I sat in my balcony feeling rather than watching the effects rain has on us. It’s so magnificent outside that to even try to put in words is beyond my humble capacity. Due to storm predications the traffic is negligible which almost is a rarity nowadays. Then the most beautiful orange tinged street lights scatter their shade on the wet roads, sprinkles of the rain aromatizes the dry and humid soil; and then a rickshaw passes by with its psychedelic lights and hi-fi stereo playing the songs of Attaullah Khan Esakhelvi. And once calm and sensuous sky of yesterday is now roaring with bright sliver lightening; in this very moment I simply couldn’t ask for more. Even though the thunder storm is doing every effort within its power to startle us however the stillness of night and cold breezes has abolished any such endeavours. But then the reali

It is really spooky to all of a sudden find something which you were looking for ages and almost lost all hope of ever seeing it again, one can’t help but get immense pleasure and joy on such occurrences. So I have also found something unexpectedly which is of great value to me, I didn’t even realize its worth until I found it. Why is it that we need to lose things in order to find later how much they meant to us? Probably that’s the way God would like things to be, and so when we ultimately find our precious gems we could be profoundly grateful for having them and take care of them the way they are supposed to be taken care of. I know for some of you my vague descriptions appear confusing but believe me few things are best if left just the way they are. After 4 days of constant worrying my little cousin brother Nabeel’s fever is reaching normalcy and so we all could breathe a sigh of relief. Its not easy to witness your dear ones in any sort of indisposition, you would want to do eve

What a day it was yesterday when around 1 pm I heard the news of renowned Pakistani Journalist/Anchorperson from AAJ TV Talat Hussain (also a personal favorite of mine), his producer Raza Mehmood Agha and Nadeem Ahmad Khan of Khubaid Foundation went missing on Freedom Flotilla the Turkish ship, on Gaza-bound humanitarian mission, which came under Israeli attack in international waters. Flotilla was carrying aid along with more than 700 activists including journalists from 40 countries. Even though neither of these guys is my kith and kin nevertheless a sudden and intense bond with them and concern of their safety became the main concern not only for me but for many Pakistanis. Entire day people were glued to TV to receive some concrete news regarding their lives and safety. However, according to the latest information all three of them are out of harm's way and now all of us are waiting for their safe and sound return homewards. The role of media and our Government in all of this