Sonya Syed

Finally I made it to the post today: my comfort zone, my love, few days away from it feels like ages have passed. What do you call this, love or what?  Although currently my new book is also another attraction in my life to which I have currently dedicated my time. I did not even have the faintest idea of how things would turn out to be, how much and what sort of self revelation that book is going to give.  We all live throughout our lives believing whatever we think is true about ourselves but the moment one decides to look beyond the daily drama of our lives, to witness things (past, present or future) merely as an observer without any attachments and simply documenting the data unimagined things pop up not only about us but also the people who have deepest of impacts on our being. So winter is in full swing and it feels like freezing, but its only me who is going through freeze time since everyone else around me is unable to share the intensity of my cold....

Thoroughly enjoyed the long, long weekend but on the 4th day it became boring and lazy and I started to miss my routine life; so much for the ungrateful human who is never happy under any circumstance. When I didn’t get a break I would beg and pray for one and when I get one, it is boring. It has been pretty cold in Karachi especially when none of us is ever prepared for those extra chilly winds. However, it is always wise to make the most of everything, to fully  live every bit of any season. Although on certain occasions it becomes unbearable to completely live in some moments due to the extreme emotions or the pain they inflict on us. Yet we are left there to either fight or flight since flying is not usually an option so we have to choose the fighting. Life is coming into some kind of focus and I’m taking baby steps into the unknown, small leaps into the future with my faith. Yet the jerks of fear are inevitable, it is strange that the moment we believe that we have outd...

A Merry Christmas to all my friends, may this blessed day brings all the happiness and joy into your lives…… Long weekend is coming up with the possibility of 4 holidays, ah nothing feels as good as some a bit time off from the routine. When I don’t have to do anything and just be in total nothingness it is the most wonderful & relaxing state to be in. Winters are always fun to be around, there is always over-eating and for me personally when I do breakfast I only think of what shall I be having next in lunch or dinner. Food becomes the main attraction with most of the creative ideas coming in every second. Sometimes I wish things to happen a bit less dramatically with me, but no , a standard has been set probably by me unconsciously or subconsciously to have larger than life events with full graphical effects. Today I went for some shopping and just opposite the mall there was the office of my ex-boss so out of blue I thought of giving him a visit it was actually after 2 y...

It has been a busy day with more exhaustion of the mind rather than the body. It is so true that when the mind is peaceful and focused life becomes effortless. However, it is always beneficial to understand the reality of people/things rather being in dark and living in fantasy wonderland, it is wise to face whatever is required to be faced irrespective of how difficult it would be in coming to terms with the reality. I am amazed to see nowadays as to how many people are becoming interested in mind sciences (like hypnosis or telepathy, etc), spiritual healing. Well as far as the intention is pure and only to heal someone and do good to others I believe this would be the perfect recipe of your spiritual growth and also integral for evolving to be a wonderful human. I have very unfortunately to say that there are people who after gaining knowledge of such a sensitive science forgets that this knowledge is given to us only for the vast benefit of human kind and not to fulfil our own...

It is the toughest things to digest yet it is the truth that we are mostly responsible for keeping our true joy miles and miles away from us. We stand in our own way whether in the name of our illness or our past or due to our undue attachment and obsession for the welfare of others. We sheepishly make ourselves believe that the world wouldn’t be the same if we are not there taking care of everything personally or that we are the ones who can protect or support anybody. When the reality is quite opposite; world moves on with or without us, we can only take care of things only up to a certain point simply because beyond that all is handled by an unknown Supreme Power who has the capability to handle million of lives, the entire solar system, and trillion other things all at the same time and that Power can of course take care of our teeny weeny existence as well. The sooner we comprehend this concept the better it is, there are times when we need to step aside and let life go with its...

Life is finally becoming a great adventure where I am always experiencing new things and doing some of the most unusual things. Recently I had a very close encounter with fear, it was actually a dream or a flash or whatever you may like to call it where I saw a very dark cloud of black fumes hovering over my head from which hands are coming out and trying to hold me or something like that, it was all quite graphic. I was alone on my floor although my family also lives with me but I got so scared from all of this that I couldn’t even call out for anybody and thought someone is coming to take me or my time is up. So I called my guru but she couldn’t be contacted and then I thought of speaking to mom but then changed my mind because I couldn’t tell her how I felt or what I say as it might worry her about my mental state. In that moment of fear I decided to go for some Divine help and immediately started reading “Surah Yaseen”. As I was reading the Surah I felt...

As my PC was opening up today, in my usual restlessness I clicked and started three programs simultaneously so as a consequence everything got stuck; after a couple of minutes finally everything started one by one. I suddenly realized that this is exactly what I do in my life; I want everything in my life to appear in a second and I simply do not possess the “patience for waiting”. Then what comes out as a result is more waiting spiced up with frustration, a pitfall with humans. It has become a routine with me for not being an irregular at the blog; by the way it is one of the things which I truly cherish in my life. Yet my unusually new and erratic sleep patterns developed very recently are taking over my most relaxing activity, the blog. I get two to three deep sleep calls lasting from 5 to 40 minutes; the first one around 5 pm, the second one between 6 to 7 pm and the last but not least one at exactly 9 pm. The sleep which I encounter at these times is unusual because I feel a...

I was absolutely energized as I decided to write today’s post but the moment I sat down sudden wave of deep sleep entered and it is only 9 pm. Tomorrow a new day and some new adventures are on their way, irrespective of the outcome I am taking on the challenge and hope to be my best. I guess this is what should be our modus operandi in every deed, we waste so much of our energy and focus in worrying about the end result, about winning or loosing, and ignoring completely the journey which takes us to that outcome. Everything to us is a means to an end and in this way we reduce the sanctity of all those moments which leads us to the end. So should we not make any goal or think for the future; of course not. We must keep it in our minds whatever we want to achieve nevertheless make it secondary and the journey our primary aim. Quite a few times I have seen this with me as well as with others that if we get to design something new or do a project or any assignment or even while cooking o...

Rushing things is never a good idea, we do one thing and our mind starts to work on the next thing; at times we multitask nevertheless the end product in such a over-worked state is always below average. Currently five things are simultaneously going on in my poor little brain and I really hope to do justice to all of them.   Past few days I have not been busy but plain lazy I wanted to desperately write the posts yet it became difficult and still I slept late and woke up early, cheers to my efforts to go to bed by 10:30: pm. I have seen this so many times with me that whenever I intentionally make an effort to do something whether it is sleeping early or doing any chore or especially taking care of my hair and hopelessly trying to style them I fail miserably. Probably my desperation becomes just too much so instead of attracting what I want I repel it. With Eid passed so swiftly and the year almost coming to an end and the fact it has been an year since I began wri...

What has my past days’ been is indeed a mind-boggling experience; nevertheless, the content of the matter is such that it would be wise to keep things with me until I am well-equipped with the right words to explain. Human being is by far the most complicated specie, our mind which is an amazing gift could become a mystery and an entire life-time is spent or wasted in trying to uncover its intricacies. Recently I have observed this on both personal level as well as a general observation that we get attached to a particular place or a memory or to an illness on a sub-conscious-level. Even though we say that we want to discard that memory or we want a treatment, yet to completely give up that illness or release that memory becomes a subconscious threat to our identity. Who would I be if I don’t have that particular ailment or nobody would care for me after I get well? Or if I can some how trap myself in that memory I can create fantastical stories out of it and would be able to hold mys...

Finally I made it to post today and quite early than my usual timings; it is comforting to know that everything is taken care of within the due time. I am desperately trying to make my day organized which means going to bed early and rising up a little more earlier with all the zest. I envy those who have a routine and they live by it, irrespective of what goes around them nothing hampers their schedule which they have set up for themselves.   After a gap of more than a month I have gone back to my workout routine. I need to do my exercise the first thing in the morning and get it out of my way. However to wake up early one has to sleep early as well or else there would be no concentration no focus and I get into the zombie mode, when I see but I really don’t see, when I am hearing yet not really listening.   My suggestion to all those who want to exercise is that, please don’t overdo anything in your enthusiasm like me because I got so excited that I didn’t even realized...

So winter has officially begun in Karachi, and what a pleasant weather it is. There has been some rain in the neighbouring cities so Karachi by default gets to experience the after effects of the rain. Winter for some strange reason is my favourite season, not the below zero degree freezing one but when there is slight chilliness with a tinge of light rain. Personally it is also the time when I get taken over by an eating monster, so I eat non-stop whenever I get the chance. I take a full meal and couple of hours pass so again I need to eat. The eastern food and in particular a well-prepared very spicy biryani is worth dying for and also a personal favourite of mine. I must admit that being a food faddiest, a quality which I am not proud off, becomes a blessing in disguise. Thankfully I don’t like sweet dishes or deserts in any form in fact I can say that I don’t even have the taste buds to try anything sweet. Let alone sweets I cannot eat anything which is made of yogurt, milk or egg...

Yesterday I was confident that I would write something but the moment I began writing nothing made sense so I decided to just chill and doze off in the comforts of my duvet. Eid came and Eid went with the blink of an eye and so rapidly have all the holidays passed. With all the laziness and nothingness holidays bring I still believe that we do need to get back to the hustle and bustle of life, to the normalcy or whatever it would mean to us. I had an Eid party at work today, it was real fun and everyone looked great, all dressed up and all. Its always nice to meet people at personal level rather than professionally. I for one love to meet people in their homes, they are always different in the comforts and security of their cocoon, their home. Even if you get to meet the people at work in some private function or wedding or dinner with their families around, you would always get the chance to witness their informal self and the easiness with which they mingle with everyone else is a ...

Eid Mubarak to all my dear friends, to my family and to this beautiful extended family of our blog. May this Eid brings to all of us the joy, health, peace & abundance. I am absolutely gracious to the Almighty, so proud of myself and thankful for the love which all of you have given me, as today it has been almost a year since I began this blog. In all these days I received nothing but your affections, and I hope that the bond which all of us developed via this medium continues to grow and prosper. Amen! So much happened in this one year, most of it has been wonderful and some of it not so wonderful; nevertheless, I am grateful for all the blessings, for those beautiful experiences, for meeting some of the most incredible people, and for not being able to meet some of the other incredible individuals; I am extremely humbled and grateful for my journey and for becoming a person which I am today. Though I am not a nostalgic person yet in this moment I am able to experienc...

Sunday evenings are usually dull in my part of the world so having no activity on my hand I decided to grace my terrace with my presence. Just standing there and observing the hustle and bustle on road one could finally realize that Eid is soon approaching. Street lights in their bloom, people traveling to and forth from shopping malls, tailors, their relatives; traffic in full swing; small vans passing with cows on them reaching for their destinations; shops on the main road buzzing with customers and most of them being window shoppers like yours truly. Ah! What a sight it is; it all feels so alive- something which has now become a rarity for us Karachites. Where ever in the world we go after enjoying few days in the alien country we become desperate to return to this pollution, our broken roads, voices of thaeen thaeen (gunshots distant in the background), total traffic chaos on the roads. If we are abroad and there is a news of terrorism at home, the first thing which come...

I guess it has been almost two weeks since I wrote my last post, but I cannot give any solid reason for my absence because I don’t understand it myself. The only and the best way I could put it is that my mind is not able to concentrate on any thought or idea and I am unable to put it in the words as to what has been going on with me. I am in a different phase of my life where my thirst for inner peace and pure joy takes precedence over my desire for any material gains where I am exploring new avenues.  So I sort of shifted my life on my inner self and followed everything religiously which is the standard procedure ranging from observing my mind to brutally murdering my ego, to meditations and excessive prayers; for past one and a half year things were actually fine. Then following my instincts I have lessened my efforts for my legal career and completely focused all my energies in learning how to heal. Albeit my healing form is much of fait...

When I am all set to relax and enjoy a bit of TV, when everything seems to be in perfect shape, when there is a joy within, when life seems to full of beauty, when the sun is set and night is encroaching upon the day- suddenly there goes the power supply, in a second all that beauty of life that beckoning of evening enveloped in rest and leisure is now changed to rushing to close all main and heavy electrical appliances with a final touch of a humongous gurrrrrrr coming from the generator. It would be painful to imagine such an end to a beautiful evening. Sometimes there is so much to talk about, however; when I would sit down to chat nothing appropriate comes out so I drop the whole idea all together. Its just like going a giant ladies mall where everything so appealing and you want to get it all and since that is not remotely possible you would come out of there over-whelmed by all the stuff and exhausted for not buying a single item. With my immune system getting pro...

One is unable to comprehend the real value of health until there is an encounter with some indisposition. For some time now I have developed a routine to say gratitude for my health and overall well-being but that is all a verbal exercise because at times I have behaved negligently. And now when I had fallen ill and got well with soar throat and a high fever I could easily understand the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy body. I hope that we all take care of ourselves and treat our immune system with some respect and appreciation. Lot is going on in my mind these days and its not thinking rather it is unthinking . Whatever has been plastered in my mind since my early childhood to my adult life is pealing out layer by layer, and please do note that I am not going for any sort of psychotherapy; rather I am regularly reciting a combination of Bismillah and Allah’s name for my overall well being & happiness. As a consequence matters which once were consider...

Returning to the familiar territories is such a delight, and for me it would have to be this blog; though I intentionally stayed away from appearing for a couple of days because whatever I would write then might have felt forced rather than natural. Since now when I am in my usual frame of mind with much less distractions, well almost, I thought that this is the time to share a thing or two with you guys. Clarity of mind is a sheer blessing and I cannot but be in awe of those who possess this trait as their natural state, as for others like me who need to do a bit of work on ourselves before we are able to experience clarity and stillness. Some of our friends wanted to know what do I mean by stillness; well our minds are highly activated most of the time and there is constant thinking going on in it. Most of our thoughts are repetitive and they just continue like a movie playing of past and current events; and stillness is nothing more than quietening our minds. ...

All of us have our brilliant moments and also there are times when we have lost it completely, although in my current situation the latter would suit me perfectly. Sometimes the simplest of actions are exaggerated by our thinking and we tend to over-estimate their impact on our lives; and finally when we have conducted those actions we could breath a sigh of relief irrespective of the nature of outcome. Nevertheless, when I would be able to breathe my relief I don’t know. There has been a lot of work going on in my mind these days- if I try and follow my instincts my logical mind would jump in with its cheap, loud and argumentative voice and informs me about the triviality of things. It tells me to be a 100% sure that I will get some benefit from my actions; it wants me to live my life today in the shadows of my past experience; it tells me only to believe what I can see or hear or touch with my physical senses; it tells me not to have faith in the unseen or the unknown; it ind...

After a long day mind is finally obtaining some focus which it lacked for some time. Over using or going beyond certain justified limits mentally always exhausts the brain cells but once this overwork is stopped everything falls into its perspective. Although I woke up sluggish this morning; however, managed to perform all the tasks which were required, then it was ten brief minutes in the sunlight to acquire my Vitamin D and what a brilliant time it was. To breath in the warmth and love of the sun, its rays beaming with tenderness. These things on the face appear to be rather insignificant yet if we could feel their subtlety with some degree of stillness would give us astounding outcomes; mind, body and the spirit all are re-energized. The law and order situation prevailing in the city are a matter of concern for all of us, one could only hope and pray that the concerned authorities take immediate timely action and once again we could as a nation leave in peace and harmony...

Something absolutely magical happened with me today and I very much would like to share it will all of you. I bought a clothing material for myself few days ago and wanted to stitch it in a particular design; however, I needed a sample picture of that design and the only way I could get that was from the internet. But as usual due to my laziness I was reluctant to open my PC, surf the net and take the print out. Today, in the afternoon as I came out of my room I saw on the dining table latest copy of an exclusive magazine which had that particular design and many others. The amazing or spooky part is that no one in the house has either bought or ordered that magazine yet its brand new issue in the most pristine condition was just lying in our garage. All I could say is that it has fallen directly from the sky, right into my lap. At first I was trying to figure out how this has happened because nobody else besides me both in my family and in friends circle was aware th...

What a day I had, a beautiful one on the exterior but within I lacked the kick, the energy and most of the time my concentration. But now as I sit before my PC with the intention of connecting with you all I could sense in myself a glimpse of peace especially after I had my good o’le cup of cold coffee. As I inscribe these words, light cold breeze is titillating my face and the quietude outside is enthralling the mind. So I take two deep breadths and try my best to bring focus on the matter at hand. Its been a week where I have met new faces and fortunately the experiences of their proximity is a positive one as well. However, few old faces remain engraved in mind and I only wonder when and how would I be able to meet them, if I meet them at all. Has anyone of you experienced ten emotions in one go, I think not and to be honest it is neither a wonderful feeling. As we grow up our perspective alters completely about many of the things which we once considered crucial or vita...

It is such an enormous relief to finally get over with the test and all the preparations which goes along with it. Although this test was no university or college examination however it is about a subject which I have studied on my very own initiative and now I await as to what might the future holds for me. Sometimes the hindrances of time and space are dissolved; even though we are not in the proximity of some people yet whenever either or both of us want we could be together and then there is no need for our physical presence, just being with someone in mind and spirit suffices. I have experienced this wonder with my mother, my other family members and friends and every time I go through it I cannot but feel energized and peaceful. Weather is changing quietly, the heat, the humidity of day and night is transforming into a pleasant wintry season. It is now the time when woollies are taken out from the storage; a time when men on handcarts in the street outside our homes would call ...

It’s the most awaited day tomorrow and I have butterflies in my stomach, coupled with anxiety pangs. It is weird that even after spending a lifetime with tests and exams one still become anxious-nervous. I have been not at all looking forward for my test day yet it is finally here; I would definitely need all your prayers. I had the most gastronomic delight in lunch today and all its credit goes to my Mom who prepared the most delicious prawn biryani. Of course I ate beyond my normal limits and as a consequence I am all relaxed and laid-back in body but my mind is far away from being relaxed. I need to revise everything and I need energy, the irony is I cant take coffee or my favourite green tea as it would leave me in insomnia- so God Bless me!! Sorry for this brief post and impersonal post but the time calls for other commitments as well, so I would take your leave darlings… Good Evening and take care….. Sonya. (Day 138/139)

Long working days with erratic sleeping habits could continue smoothly for a little while only and then comes the spiraling down period. The most crucial aspect of life: sleep , when gets ignored or bullied it could give some unhealthy results and this is what happened in my case. I, for so long have been going to sleep pass the due bedtime and as a consequence I am unable to concentrate or focus on any thing now, my taste buds are upset and my memory is affected as well; most of the time I feel drowsy or just want to sleep. So please if any of you does the same thing with your sleep then do take care of yourself. All these apparently little things are not that inconsequential after all, because of the seemingly trivial things in life could prove vital to your existence. I have a burning desire to learn playing a guitar yet I could not find an appropriate teacher. It is such an irony that whenever we want something desperately in our lives it drifts farther away from us, may be our d...