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Showing posts from December 20, 2009

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Day 20

25th and 27th December holds very special spot in my heart, these are the birth dates of not only a great man called Quaid-e-Azam Muhammad Ali Jinnah who with the grace of God made possible for us Pakistanis to have this beautiful and magnificent country brimful with natural resources, perfect 4 seasons, gems and so on; where we can exist in freedom. How far as a nation are we successful to realize our founder’s dream and the hundreds of thousands of unnamed heroes who sacrificed their lives to give us, their future generations a gift of independence; is debatable. But I think what is required from each one of us is to have a vision intention and the absolute willingness to see prosperity, education, safety, health and freedom of expression blossoming in Pakistan. All that is required from us is to sincerely and honestly carry out our functions in whatever capacity they are assigned to us , be it of a politician, a doctor, a technician, lawyer, teacher, student or a parent. The...

Day 19

Faces, many faces that came and went from my life, some of them made guest appearances while others decided to stay for the long haul. In the solitude and stillness of night when everyone is asleep and the road outside my home have swathed itself with the drapes of quietude. I cannot but cease to think of all the people that I ever had the opportunity to be with, some being my childhood pals, others from school/ college/ university and many others that I have worked with. Time is a fantastic sieve of relationships and has an amazing characteristic of filtering people from and into our lives. For some reason we possess a tendency to forget some faces and remember others while some leave indelible mark on our minds. I cannot rationalize this theory but we do become subconsciously connected with some individuals. They teach us a lot about our self, mostly unintentionally; they prove to be beneficial for our existence, they become our Buddha experience. It’...

Day 18

A long day indeed; then later in the evening there was sorting of my clothes and organizing my cupboards. I surprised myself when I found that some of the clothes that I wear today are from times of my school mostly from Class 9th. The best thing of it all is that everything still fits with few exceptions though. I have proved myself to be a frugal, a really moderate spender. Academics have never been on my list of priorities but with how thing are moving, I am confident that 2010 shall be the year where I would become a catalyst in broadening my professional expertise and exploring much diverse avenues, InshaAllah… With new hopes & aspirations….. Sonya.

Day 17

Media has become a circus where all clowns and performers are performing their acts. Nobility, decency and taking responsibility for our actions is almost extinct. It is an established verity that until a verdict is announced no individual can be termed as either guilty or innocent, but in times like these questions regarding our moral obligation are inevitable. It is unfortunate to observe that save for the Courts the NRO stricken dignitaries in Pakistan are defending their case everywhere. Dignified modus operandi should be followed instead of turning something as grave as the future of a nation into a monkey business. No one seems to follow the reasonable course and rather than defending their position with sheer forbearance, they are similar to small children playing together and if you catch one of them in midst of any mischievous activity, the child having no other option either throws a tantrum or even easier, implicates all his friends. There are always very simple solutions...

Day 16

Emptiness… where does it lead, what it does? I have no clue. Yes that’s very true today I’m empty of thoughts, feelings and ideas. May be its because I have spewed my thoughts yesterday. I do, however believe that it sounded a bit melancholic and it’s not prudent to speak aloud whatever is going in our mind. But at times one does get sensitive. Sunday has been full of activity mainly due to fixing of all the doors in the house. Luckily we had some really professional carpenters who did everything just as Amma planned. I didn’t have much to contribute so I stayed within constraints of my own world. It is always to delightful to find something that you have desired so intensely, likewise I believe my search for an institute to learn guitar is finally reaching end, after sifting very few available options I have found one place where I would be able to learn music. Although I haven’t discovered my talent yet but the urge to learn is imbedded deep inside. I have faith that with convic...