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Showing posts from December 19, 2010

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Merry Christmas & strange events

A Merry Christmas to all my friends, may this blessed day brings all the happiness and joy into your lives…… Long weekend is coming up with the possibility of 4 holidays, ah nothing feels as good as some a bit time off from the routine. When I don’t have to do anything and just be in total nothingness it is the most wonderful & relaxing state to be in. Winters are always fun to be around, there is always over-eating and for me personally when I do breakfast I only think of what shall I be having next in lunch or dinner. Food becomes the main attraction with most of the creative ideas coming in every second. Sometimes I wish things to happen a bit less dramatically with me, but no , a standard has been set probably by me unconsciously or subconsciously to have larger than life events with full graphical effects. Today I went for some shopping and just opposite the mall there was the office of my ex-boss so out of blue I thought of giving him a visit it was actually after 2 y...

Love has no hidden agendas

It has been a busy day with more exhaustion of the mind rather than the body. It is so true that when the mind is peaceful and focused life becomes effortless. However, it is always beneficial to understand the reality of people/things rather being in dark and living in fantasy wonderland, it is wise to face whatever is required to be faced irrespective of how difficult it would be in coming to terms with the reality. I am amazed to see nowadays as to how many people are becoming interested in mind sciences (like hypnosis or telepathy, etc), spiritual healing. Well as far as the intention is pure and only to heal someone and do good to others I believe this would be the perfect recipe of your spiritual growth and also integral for evolving to be a wonderful human. I have very unfortunately to say that there are people who after gaining knowledge of such a sensitive science forgets that this knowledge is given to us only for the vast benefit of human kind and not to fulfil our own...

Day 157

It is the toughest things to digest yet it is the truth that we are mostly responsible for keeping our true joy miles and miles away from us. We stand in our own way whether in the name of our illness or our past or due to our undue attachment and obsession for the welfare of others. We sheepishly make ourselves believe that the world wouldn’t be the same if we are not there taking care of everything personally or that we are the ones who can protect or support anybody. When the reality is quite opposite; world moves on with or without us, we can only take care of things only up to a certain point simply because beyond that all is handled by an unknown Supreme Power who has the capability to handle million of lives, the entire solar system, and trillion other things all at the same time and that Power can of course take care of our teeny weeny existence as well. The sooner we comprehend this concept the better it is, there are times when we need to step aside and let life go with its...

Life=Adventure

Life is finally becoming a great adventure where I am always experiencing new things and doing some of the most unusual things. Recently I had a very close encounter with fear, it was actually a dream or a flash or whatever you may like to call it where I saw a very dark cloud of black fumes hovering over my head from which hands are coming out and trying to hold me or something like that, it was all quite graphic. I was alone on my floor although my family also lives with me but I got so scared from all of this that I couldn’t even call out for anybody and thought someone is coming to take me or my time is up. So I called my guru but she couldn’t be contacted and then I thought of speaking to mom but then changed my mind because I couldn’t tell her how I felt or what I say as it might worry her about my mental state. In that moment of fear I decided to go for some Divine help and immediately started reading “Surah Yaseen”. As I was reading the Surah I felt...