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Showing posts from May 20, 2012

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Food, food & food…

There are times when I have the most interesting relationship with food, from the instances where I eat to live and other when I live to eat. These days latter situation is prevalent and I am going out of my way to eat all that I enjoy, some of which includes deep fried food, biryani and so on. The problem is that when I am having all those sort of food I eat believing that I have a tanker rather than a regular sized stomach and my main aim is to fill it to the fullest. Plus there isn’t any kind of exercise currently in my life, so I need all your prayers to come out of the my latest obsession with food. This is not the first time that I am facing such situation but it has been my pattern for quite some time. In my early childhood we didn’t have the kind of health awareness that today’s kids and parents have. I used to drink crate (with 24 bottles) of cola in just three days and my favourite chips were full of tartar. God knows what that crap had done to my system. The Gen...

Spirituality, no big deal..

I remembered seeing a TV play called “Lahasil” (Vain, Futile) and how much we all loved it. It was about the struggles and spiritual journey of a woman who changed her faith to Islam. The story, screenplay & actors were simply brilliant. However, for some reason today I find it all a bit in accurate. Not only in this play but in many other TV dramas, films, novels they show that the people who are deeply spiritual and have intense love and faith of God are always sick, broke and in misery. It somehow gives impression that to be near God one has to be in misery. It is always considered that the people who perform hard labor and live on streets sleep peacefully at night because they are not rich. Similarly you must have observed that in books, dramas & films the person who is rich is evil, he doesn’t have peace of mind or health. He only became rich because he cheated someone or smuggled illegal stuff and he has no feelings for others. So much so that this concept has ta...

Boredom

Boredom is a peculiar phenomenon, you don’t understand its cause and you don’t know how to get over it. Since Saturday I was bored to the death, I went out in open air to breathe some fresh air of the sea and it was a pleasant experience. On our way home on Saturday suddenly it became dark and windy as if the sky was sharing my sentiments. I have tried to capture those moments.       In the pictures below where you see golden dots, this is actually the dust in the air and everything was covered with it.     Then again on Sunday same state took over me and once again I went for outing. However, this time instead of getting better I felt far more down and in the moment I realized that irrespective of where you run you cannot run away from yourself and your mind.       As long as we remain in the same mental-state no matter where we go; even the most beautiful place on the planet could only keep us...