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Showing posts from June 27, 2010

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Attachments & Tough Decisions

Emotional attachment or attachment of any kind with either material things or humans are many times cause of pain and the biggest impediments in taking rational and just decisions. These decisions in themselves are not tough but our attachment to their content makes it difficult for us to decide. I too have taken a major decision, at first it appeared rather impossible but on close inspection when a certain threshold of apprehension and attachment was reached fear immediately subsided and everything fell into its place and emerged therefrom a peaceful and focused answer. What shall be the modus operandi when one has exhausted all mortal resources to manifest few things in life, should we continue to fight, be in a rut and resist the reality or should we surrender and do whatever this moment requires us to do? I don’t have answers to any of these questions because our mortal mind is so limited in its capacity to see the reality (reality with the capital R) of everything that even ...

Ramblings

Thank you Naved for your suggestions I shall read David Copperfield, as for Runaway Jury I have read it and must I say what an incredible book it is, a very fine thriller indeed. Mornings are always bright, beautiful and beckoning hope; I am the best in mind, body & spirit in the earliest hours of the day however as the time passes further ahead things do begin to slow down a bit. But never mind at this very moment it is morning and this is what all there is. Patience begins with tolerance and understanding for others’ behaviour and bearing everything with grace; nevertheless, there are instances when one would like to explode due to rage. These are the times when all spiritual data should come into force and result in peace, forbearance and compassion not only for others but also for ourselves but the point is that do we really want peace and do we really want to come out of our miseries, the answer is NO. We are addicted to our suffering, our pain, our fears, our stress, our an...

Multifarious

I have sent quite a few emails today mostly professional but somehow I feel more real with hand written letters formally on paper, envelopes and postage stamps, there is a sense of tradition there. However the kind of techno developments we have in this age it is not possible for us to ignore them anymore; everything has become very swift, sophisticated and impersonal. The allegedly dark clouds which were hovering over my skies yesterday have given way to a brighter and open day. Things are after all settled so now I am glad to have a better perspective and a clearer mind. Almost for a week I have been reading or at least trying my best to read Bleak House by Charles Dickens, it’s a long novel and I give up reading after six pages into the book and then began again. He is such a renowned author that having such an attitude towards his work makes me feel somewhat impolite. Occasionally it is fine to read spiritual material or books of insights into human nature but not always, every s...