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Showing posts from February 19, 2012

My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Awakening….

Unexplained emotions seems to have become the highlight of my life these days and when I thought about acting on some of the impulses created as a result to those emotions I preferred to follow the “wait and watch” strategy. One of our friends visiting the blog suggested that this particular strategy might not be a good be idea all the time. I respect that suggestion however I also believe that on many occasion things comes up in our minds not directly requiring any action rather they show up only to make us aware of them. The moment we are aware of the emotions and thoughts or mental story they represent, there work is done. Simply by non-judgmental observing we realize where we were wrong, what were our resistances and attachment. On the whole we also realize that those set of emotions and the related memory are not productive to us any more thus they should be allowed to release. You live a substantial time of your life believing you have all the right information a...

Connection

Sometimes one goes through unexplained emotions, you are unable to comprehend the origin or reason of their presence yet they tend to stick around and do their work. As a self-help strategy you could detach and simply observe them to see what images and memories they present to you so as to get any clue. Then you receive vague ideas, however, you are unable to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Irrespective of how many ideas you have or assumptions you make unless some concrete physical evidence is given you remain in oblivion. The perplexity which I referred to in my earlier post has been settled a bit and for now I have decided to wait and watch. Last night was a night of revelations. As I was trying to focus on my breathing and relax many images and occasions of past emerged. What was surprising to know that when you decide to become a silent observer, devoid of any judgment or resistance or attachment, your intuition present a lot of information which you w...