Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
5 th October is a day when I celebrate my birth day. However this year it has been different or may be I made it different. On the night of 4 th October my life so far ran in front of my eyes; my success, my failures. I was reminded of many birthdays and several other occasions and for some peculiar reason I felt a very strong pull from within to seek atonement, to ask for forgiveness. I thought I haven’t committed any major sins as outlined by my religion; a harsh word here or there, little gossip but nothing more than that so why am I asking for deep forgiveness. I thought may be my time is up and before going I am given a chance to seek atonement. It felt quite strange. However, with all the strangeness I continued for atonement/ forgiveness. While doing this strange activity gradually it changed from seeking forgiveness to becoming intensely aware of all my blessings. I wasn’t actually asking forgiveness to repent my sins but I was feeling sorry at mys...