Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
After months and years of keeping myself conveniently in denial about my expectations, my hopes, my fears, my wishes, and my unwarranted attachments I have today allowed myself a space to breath. When we are too much engrossed in our fears and wishes, we tend to loose perspective. We see things that are not there thus we actually take our own emotional projections as the ultimate truth and reality. It is tough to come face-to-face with yourself, to stand arms-less in front of your rather strong demons and to throw away the blanket of denial which has beautifully kept us away from seeing the truth. Facing your true self is far more scary then facing a well-equipped army on the borders. Like many others, I have also made myself falsely belief in many things which I secretly knew had never existed, so that I can keep myself stuck in everlasting wish-worry vicious cycle. It is rather easy to keep yourself in denial and sabotage your own life than to face the pain and distress of the Trut...