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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Merry Christmas & strange events


A Merry Christmas to all my friends, may this blessed day brings all the happiness and joy into your lives……

Long weekend is coming up with the possibility of 4 holidays, ah nothing feels as good as some a bit time off from the routine. When I don’t have to do anything and just be in total nothingness it is the most wonderful & relaxing state to be in.

Winters are always fun to be around, there is always over-eating and for me personally when I do breakfast I only think of what shall I be having next in lunch or dinner. Food becomes the main attraction with most of the creative ideas coming in every second.

Sometimes I wish things to happen a bit less dramatically with me, but no, a standard has been set probably by me unconsciously or subconsciously to have larger than life events with full graphical effects. Today I went for some shopping and just opposite the mall there was the office of my ex-boss so out of blue I thought of giving him a visit it was actually after 2 years that I would be meeting him. As I stepped out of the car and moved towards his building a sudden wind storm started, and there was the particular sounds of silent storms “shaeen shaeen”. As I moved towards the office building, winds became heavy and dense and it was even difficult for us to maintain our balance, everyone outside was shivering due to the sudden chill in the air and barely maintaining their balance. I was with Ma and she jokingly said if this is some kind of a sign for us not to go. On reaching the lounge of the building the receptionist told me that the office which I want to go to has shifted two years ago to a farther location.

As I was returning to the mall which was merely 10-15 steps away from that buiding the winds became soft and normal, amazed and higly intrigued I noticed that the density of air and chill was revolving around that building only. Of course there must be a perfect logical explanation for all of this and some of my friends would easily push this event in the box of coincidence, but then my dear there are no coincidences or accidents everything is connected. Although I am not able to meet my ex-boss yet I pray that he and his family are all peacful & safe.

Nevertheless, overall day has been productive and a bit tiring and then on my return in the evening when I opened my bag only to find that I have lost my wallet, desperate I checked every nook & cranny of my bag, car and my room and panicked my mom and the entire family. Wallet had monetary value nevertheless it also had sentimental value because it was a gift from my best friend Sadia. After looking everywhere without any trace I thought it was my sadqa (a charity for protection) and somebody who needed the money more than me now has my wallet; besides it could also be my opportunity to practice to free myself from the attachment of money and emotions.

I thought that I should forget about it and move on with my chores and then all of a sudden as I turned to my bed my red colour wallet was lying peacefully on the black blanket. I gave you guys the colours to explain that such a bright colour thing when placed on a dark background it simply cannot be missed or overlooked and in that moment I knew that I should take proper sleep and avoid watching mystery/horror movies.. 

Two such strange incidences in a day have now completely sucked my mental as well as physical energy, so now all you dearies and dearas I am heading to bed for some rest and chilling out “me time”.

Good Night, have a great weekend and Merry Christmas.

Sonya. (Day 159)

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