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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Day 31

Bright and sunny, always help to get a good start for any day. Sun invoke and elevates something inside our system giving us absolute joy and freshness; it’s a very subtle feeling and could only be experienced if we take a minute, take a breath and absorb the light. I was having a tête-à-tête with myself and with the sole intention to challenge myself I asked me, what would be your ultimate dream or wish Sonya ? Honestly I’m not very much of a spendthrift but it was a challenge so I decided that I should give it ago. I have 2 rather 1 ultimate dreams/wishes. Primary and the most significant wish is to have peace, love and joy for myself, my family and friends and for everyone around me. Seeing people happy and healthy just makes my joy multiplied by tenfold. And now the secondary wish is to have at least 8-10 bedroom house in Switzerland it can be in Geneva, Bern or Zurich for my family vacations. Having said it aloud, my mom got a bit concerned for my mental health but tried her...

Day 30

Before beginning I would like to thank everyone from the depth of my heart who takes out time to read my blog, who email me, and who encourage me. It’s extremely fulfilling to know that I am able to contribute in some way. Once again Thank You!!! Mondays are usually devoid of enthusiasm but the pace of activity we have to keep up with compels us to get in the stream of life as quickly as possible. For me the best start is with good breakfast which always consist of roti (wheat pancakes) and a curry of any kind and a cup of cold coffee. I must admit that it sounds bizarre to have cold coffee even in winters but this is what is. Delicious as this breakfast is, also creates trouble for me during my out of country visits. The very first time I travelled with my dad to USA was a travelling nightmare, food wise. Although Pakistani food was served during our flights but the breakfast was the real deal breaker. I just cannot stand bread, butter and cereals I needed a complete meal, so for 2 ...

Day 29

Morality, humanity, values, justice are all seem to become a part of ancient history; nevertheless, at times we do get the opportunity to witness some remnants of these traits otherwise the moral fiber of our society is shredding into pieces. Where are we heading as a nation, I wonder? Is this the kind of country that we would bequeath to our children, I think not. I intensely wanted to escape to unknown destination where all is peace and prosperity. As a lawyer I am ashamed that’s all I could say. History is filled with tales of the nations which were destroyed due to their transgressions and it is terrifying to witness the same signs in Pakistan. Norms of natural justice and the laws of Universe are always working in precise fashion, no exception. The Effect could never contradict the Cause, the Universal laws or God’s law is similar to a giant computer where we could only download the documents which we have uploaded. Is it possible to harvest rice when we seeded pineapple? I...

Day 28

Impossible! For some strange reason I wanted to begin writing today with this particular word. Although in my life all things have been made possible by an unseen Power. Lots of activity in the foreground but morning lethargy has been in the background. It is said that most of the time we feel lethargic there is either indisposition or some pending emotional issue which requires our immediate attention. Fortunately for me the latter is true, there is major reading & writing to do academically and to begin anywhere I need to sit in front of 14.1’’ notebook screen for straight 3-4 hours something which I am not really ecstatic about. I would elaborate on this in near future, InshaAllah. The work keeps on piling up deadlines are to be made and my mortal system seems to take a back seat. The mammoth task overwhelms me. But one thing I know for sure once I get initial grip on the matter everything else would fall into its place automatically. The first step! Is all what it takes. Tru...

Day 27

Immense frustration, humongous anxiety, heightened ambiguity have been the highlights of my past few days. Some much of the precious time wasted in sheer stupidity. This is the outcome when there is chaos or when you decide to go into a dormant phase when action is required. But then when nerves calmed down and you pray for a miracle, a sudden shift in situation occurs not so much at the outside rather more on the inside. It is amazing that sometimes we spend so much of our time and energy on worrying about something so much and then ultimately that situation dissolves by itself without shattering either the heavens or the earth. And then we thank God for taking us out of our problems unharmed and so beautifully. An early day tomorrow with lots of tasks to accomplish and all what is required of me is an understanding of where to start first. With the prayers of ease, comfort & joy for all….. Sonya.

Day 26

Frequent pauses in writing are developing into a standard practice for me and I seriously need to follow the disciplined structure. Friends are an integral part of our existence and in particular our childhood friends, we may loose touch for a long time but as soon as we do get connected we start exactly from we left. Much of the like happened to me and I cannot but appreciate the role these social websites play to reconnect and rebond. The other day I was fortunate to be able to speak with my Class 8th classmate Mustafa Allahwala it was after more than a decade that one fine day we suddenly came into contact. It was a delightful conversation and we remembered our school days, our teachers, post school life, our transmutation into maturity, how some significant pillars in our lives moved into other dimensions and the brilliance with how extraordinarily and beautifully life passed by. Maria, Muneeza, Faris, Saleem, Mustafa, Imran, Shahzeb, Miss Fouzia our favorite English teacher a...

Day 25

Long time no see! Fits perfectly in my situation, though there was a strong desire to write but the fatigue of the passed few days surpassed it all. Sometimes doing nothing significant tires one down. The weekend passed with its complete glory, Friday 8th January was definitely a Good Friday. I met my long time best friend Maria after a gap of many months. It is always a delight to be with her and her family. Her parents’ a.k.a. Uncle and Aunty, her younger brother Shakir and his lovely wife Saani, their beautiful daughters Fatima and Alizey. Shabbir Chacha & Chachi their children & her cousins Haani and vivacious Zakira who was also visiting with her equally sweet children Zain and Zara. Last but not least Mohsin Maria’s son, I call him a Miracle Child. Yes, truly he has been a miracle for all of us and especially for Maria and her Husband Qasim. Maria has always been an inspiration for me, I feel proud and blessed to be her friend. It was after years I had the opportunity to...