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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Just another day

Language when fails you, when thoughts disagree to materialize and the emotions get stuck up at a singular place then this I would say is my current state of mind. Reasons for the condition might not be acknowledged or appreciated by others because how I perceive something is entirely different as to how others look at it; something which is a triviality for others might be substantial for me. Of all the skills that I have learned during my life one is left and that would be my ability to deal with the emotions of others, I just cannot desensitize myself I have to feel whatever is there for me to feel which at times is totally unnecessary. It’s fine when one is sensitive but being highly sensitive is a curse. In the latter case one goes through needless and avoidable suffering but what to do if one is manufactured in this way. Prayers for a miracle to alter this inherent trait is the only possible solution that I could think of. By the way I had two out of the blue anti-tetanus vacc...

Karachi Monsoons

It’s a beautiful evening here in Karachi, light breezes, bright and sunny yet not too warm, just perfect. The rain hasn’t fallen onto our land till now; however, the way wind is blowing it appears that monsoon is just around the corner. Monsoon is a blessing for the children here and not so much of a favourite amongst the adults. Karachi although has inherent beauty and grace but like human face it requires constant maintenance and care. Albeit there have been a flood of overheads and underpasses, thousands of tree plantations within this metropolitan however these are merely cosmetic changes; they are similar to several cosmetic surgeries done on a 60 year old person’s face who has unhealthy eating habits, who is a chain smoker and an alcoholic so whatever beauty procedures you would do on such face would not last for long, and sooner than later the ugliness, the scars and marks of such surgeries would appear. And one of such scars become evident in Karachi when the monsoon season ...

Peace

Just by making few simple alterations in the room everything looks fresh & crisp. Small chores at home take up most of the time; the simplest & the most basic room in the house is mom’s its very easy to manage on the other hand my room although not filled with too much stuff yet its not easy to handle every corner of it. I just changed the bed cover in both my and Amma’s room; in her room it took me effortless 5-8 minutes whereas my covers took 15-20 minutes and with lot of effort and roaming around the room. Conflict or disagreement even within 10 miles radius of me disturbs my functioning in every respect; I become lethargic and sulky. Then I ask myself where I could get an environment where all is love, peace & bliss 24/7, 365 days a year. The only place which comes to the mind then is heaven however the irony is that we live on this earth where change is inevitable, where there are different people coming together from different situations with their particular mindset...

Monday Sickness & Work Life

Before saying anything else I shall first thank all of you from the depths of my heart for showing me your immense love towards our blog. All I can say is that I am humbled but at the same time I also feel more responsible for what I shall write. The sleep once again dominates the mind but there is also a desire to talk and until that is done it shall keep me restless. I thought that today I shall be in a better form yet the body is still exhausted from the works of yesterday and some of its continuation today. Fridays are great, Saturdays are exceptional but Sundays they depress me or drains me of all the energy. It could be due to the Monday which shall soon barge in and signals to us another week of work and interaction with an outside world. If I ever to get in power I am going to make Monday an optional holiday without any pay cuts. For me this week is going to bring with itself several prospects of work but how much fruitful they are it is yet to be seen. There was a time when...

A Quick Hello!

What a day I had, full of vigor and vitality. There wasn’t a single moment when I could be with myself but then again do we need to have certain circumstances in order to be with ourselves. It fills one with immense pleasure when we get an opportunity to do something for others especially when that something makes them joyous. So the younger lot in the family decided to have barbecue tonight, half of the day went in preparations and the other half in the barbecue itself and when the clock struck 12 at midnight then it was the time when I had my dinner but no regrets. What is important that everyone had a great time and yes the tiredness is now bordering to exhaustion; however, all is well. So tonight I ask for you to excuse this very brief blog because if I sit a moment longer my spinal cord would start shouting from tension. Good night with a promise to be in better spirits morrow. Sonya. (Day 90)

Dr. Jackal & Mr. Hyde

It is a well known fact that inherent trait of carbohydrates is to relax our body and to make us prone to sleep or at least get a nap. However it is not the case with me today because as I was trying to rest some thoughts or more precisely some insights into human nature came to me full throttle and I am unable to rest until I provide them an outlet for expression. So here they are- I am going to keep the identities of the people that I will talk about anonymous because I am very fond of them and second they are very well-known public figures/celebrities of international repute. However I shall name one of them as Mr. X and the other Ms. Y. Both Mr. X and Ms. Y have family ties but are not related by blood, Mr. X is quite fond of Ms. Y and whenever he gets an opportunity he expresses his fondness, admiration and respect towards her; in fact there are moments when he even ignores his own flesh & blood of such accolades. He is so much compassionate towards her that even if ...

Day 88

There is nothing to write, nothing to discuss, nothing to reminisce just plain idle mind with no inflow of thoughts. Contemporary gadgets are there to occupy the idle mind but subsequently it all reaches a threshold and we become immune to its enchantment, its not alluring any longer. Night is falling in quickly yet there is no inclination to repose. Nevertheless, time presses us to give in and let sleep does it wonders. Morning, yes morning would afresh the brain cells, give them the required zest. With the hope to have an active, positive yet creative day. Love and sweet dreams for all………. Sonya.(Day 88)