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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

A bird’s mind

Turning in early to write the blog with everything else taken care off, every chore that was required to be done has been completed and then finally sitting in front of a 14’’ screen turns into an amazing relief. It’s so beautiful in Karachi, with minimum power cuts, moderate rains and 12 hours of dark clouds, fried snacks in a snug environment. With this much luxury and comfort around one can’t help but be truly grateful to the Higher Power for bestowing such blessings. Few days ago a baby bird, a chick, fell from his nest right into our home. He was so young and weak that flying back to his nest was extremely difficult but his dad would always come down to feed him and to teach him how to fly. He stayed with us for around a week; we tried our best to take care of him to facilitate his food, etc. Even though he was in no danger from us yet his father was highly protective of him and if we even pass by the chick his dad would appear from nowhere and stand between us and his baby, and...

DAY HUNDREDTH

Its feel great to be back after a gap, back to the roots and back to the basics. I cannot believe that we have completed 100 days of our blog and I cannot but be humbled and thank all of my friends who have given me their unconditional support and love and I pray that our journey continues further ahead in love, peace and joy. When I began this blog I never could have imagined that I would be able to go on for such a long period of time but here we are. Dark clouds, rainy breeze and drizzles what more one could desire for; rains have a special place in the hearts of us South Asians because this is the time when we get refuge from scorching heat of sun, where our fields get watered, our crops blossoms and livelihoods are earned. Past few days have been active and exhaustive and proactive, and I have come to realize that whenever we are afraid of something and when that something happens to us the threshold of fear gets crossed and then suddenly some strange sense of calm and serenity ...

Quarter-life Crisis (Part Two)

So you may be wondering, "Am I having a quarter-life crisis?" To help you answer that question, take this quarter-life crisis diagnosis quiz which consists of 24, appropriately, questions. Read each question carefully and answer quickly with a simple yes or no (don't over think it!): 1. Are you in a "bad temper" when you feel like nothing is terribly wrong, but nothing seems right either? 2. Do you feel older for the first time in your life? 3. Are you unmotivated, directionless or passionless? 4. Are you concerned that you don't know what you want to do with your life? 5. Do you feel pressure to grow up and get your adult life in order? 6. Do you feel entitled to a life much grander than the one you are living? 7. Do you often feel depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, lost, and maybe even a little hopeless? 8. Do you feel a lot of pressure and expectations to do, have or be something? 9. Do you ever feel that time is running out in regards to figuring ...

Quarter-life Crisis (Part One)

It is so wonderful to come back to the known territories, to talk, to share how it’s been. It is almost a week since I wrote my last post and I apologize for creating confusion with my earlier post. I thank all of you for your concerns that you have dearly shown in your emails, messages and comments. The intention was not to create confusion but to express myself but at the same time not reveal too much of the matter, save to say that it was concerning my work and when the right time would come I might perhaps discuss everything more openly. Rain has finally reached our soils and the heat & humidity are now allowed to give all of us a break. Although it has not been an intense rainfall but the way climate is shaping up I am sure for there shall be heavy rains. Has anybody ever the words Quarter-life crisis, well I did today, it’s a crisis young adults go through when they are in their mid-twenties and early thirties and following are some of its characteristics:- • feeling ...

Attachments & Tough Decisions

Emotional attachment or attachment of any kind with either material things or humans are many times cause of pain and the biggest impediments in taking rational and just decisions. These decisions in themselves are not tough but our attachment to their content makes it difficult for us to decide. I too have taken a major decision, at first it appeared rather impossible but on close inspection when a certain threshold of apprehension and attachment was reached fear immediately subsided and everything fell into its place and emerged therefrom a peaceful and focused answer. What shall be the modus operandi when one has exhausted all mortal resources to manifest few things in life, should we continue to fight, be in a rut and resist the reality or should we surrender and do whatever this moment requires us to do? I don’t have answers to any of these questions because our mortal mind is so limited in its capacity to see the reality (reality with the capital R) of everything that even ...

Ramblings

Thank you Naved for your suggestions I shall read David Copperfield, as for Runaway Jury I have read it and must I say what an incredible book it is, a very fine thriller indeed. Mornings are always bright, beautiful and beckoning hope; I am the best in mind, body & spirit in the earliest hours of the day however as the time passes further ahead things do begin to slow down a bit. But never mind at this very moment it is morning and this is what all there is. Patience begins with tolerance and understanding for others’ behaviour and bearing everything with grace; nevertheless, there are instances when one would like to explode due to rage. These are the times when all spiritual data should come into force and result in peace, forbearance and compassion not only for others but also for ourselves but the point is that do we really want peace and do we really want to come out of our miseries, the answer is NO. We are addicted to our suffering, our pain, our fears, our stress, our an...

Multifarious

I have sent quite a few emails today mostly professional but somehow I feel more real with hand written letters formally on paper, envelopes and postage stamps, there is a sense of tradition there. However the kind of techno developments we have in this age it is not possible for us to ignore them anymore; everything has become very swift, sophisticated and impersonal. The allegedly dark clouds which were hovering over my skies yesterday have given way to a brighter and open day. Things are after all settled so now I am glad to have a better perspective and a clearer mind. Almost for a week I have been reading or at least trying my best to read Bleak House by Charles Dickens, it’s a long novel and I give up reading after six pages into the book and then began again. He is such a renowned author that having such an attitude towards his work makes me feel somewhat impolite. Occasionally it is fine to read spiritual material or books of insights into human nature but not always, every s...