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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Musings

Missed missed two days of the blog and the kind of guilt pangs I get are inexplicable. What to do when choices are need to be made between rest and my favorite activity, the blog. I had to see the bigger picture so I decided to make some choices, hence rest prevailed. After clinging on to my clothes for some time now, both old and new ones, I have finally cleared up almost 75% of my wardrobe with another 10% due. I could not believe how much lighter and joyous I feel. I have been stocking some clothes since college years, the ones which promised durability and wear-ability. Now all I am left with are few modest belongings in my closet, and it feels superb! Early morning after having breakfast I was sitting in my balcony enjoying the sun and a phenomenal weather and absorbing vitamin D or whatever it is suppose to give; relaxing and thinking that it is a perfect time to go to the beach. Alas, not every wish is to be fulfilled. I had a person in my mind and I was t...

Thanks to all

I am thrilled to see how perfectly girls and ladies have their hair these days, at the same time I am scared to observe what kind of irreparable damage they are doing. Blow drying and straightening have become a norm these days hence unrealistic standards are being set for beauty. I cannot comprehend is this due to the bombardment of beauty images prevalent in the visual media today or is it because we are not happy with what we are blessed with. Slight curls or waves in hair and there comes a social pressure to straighten your hair and even worse to re-curl your hair and that to using hot curling irons to give a certain type of curly look. Being the daughter of a dermatologist, I unfortunately on regular basis come across girls with either extreme thinning of hair or partial baldness and especially in the front portion of the head, a look which people with hypothyroid have. It’s a regular to see teenage girls with such destructive attitude and I apprehend that when they’ll be in their...

Day 176

Tired, sleep deprived yet in full spirits; I guess it would be futile to raise my concerns on this issue repeatedly. Since my insomnia is the highlight of my life these days and since all of you also share a bit of my life, so there we are. When insomnia is at its peak, life seems to be dull; emotions and thinking move at the turtle’s pace; entire system turns lethargic; lack of focus perseveres. Although you are there physically and responding to every chore/query mechanically; yet you merely speak so that you don’t fall asleep in the midst of a gathering nevertheless your mind is shut down. I also believe that insomnia is just the tip of an iceberg of some other issue, which my sub-conscious mind is probably working on. However, consciously the more I try to look into the matter the more I am bewildered. Couple of things pop-up though, which I think I may have wrapped up in my conscious mind but they keep on coming. May be they need a final resolution and I am not allowing it resol...

Colors

Colors and more colors I’m seeing everywhere since yesterday’s evening. Finally the bride has ventured into her new life may it be filled with million joys & lots of marital bless. So we are done with the wedding ceremony of Sadia’ s sister and what can I say it was again a great event, the bride & groom looked just perfect and the family joyous. There were colors all around and especially with me. If I have to review my dressing it was nothing less of a tutti frutti. I also happened to meet Sadia’s school buddy and what a coincidence it was, that both of us were wearing Saris. We have actually met for the first time in more than a decade of my friendship with Sadia. It was wonderful to witness the rapport and intimacy they shared, there was so much easy in their relationship something which we have with our childhood friends. Like a relationship I share with Maria who is my childhood pal, we practically grew up together, went through our teenage and finally we all grew up...

Fascinations

These social sites are such a blessing to one’s life, an email address few odd characters in the password box, a click to the “Enter” and an entire world opens up right before your eyes. Loved ones, friends, colleagues informal with their families, come farther closer and you can take a peak into everybody’s and they in yours. And all I can say that we are truly fortunate to be present in an era when our lives have become comfortably resourceful. There was a time not too long ago when we used to wake up in the middle of the night to receive calls from the relatives living abroad, since the lines were not perfect so everyone would speak loudly and at times habitually rather than as a requirement. I could never understand why everyone called in the midst of night when there could have been a time setting in the late morning hours or after 11 at night. Nevertheless, now with such advance portals available there is simply no excuse for missing someone’s birthday or other significant occas...

Sleep and sensibility

Burning eyes, heavy head, looking desperately for a place to sleep or even a simple head down would suffice under such circumstances; are all the wonders of insomnia. Yesterday I decided to loose myself in the beauty of slumber and getting to bed by 9 pm but no! mind had other plans. The more I focused on sleep the more resistance I faced so after a tug-of–war with me on one end and insomnia on the other, I gave up and decided to be awake as long as my mind wants to. There was just no point in fighting with it. God knows when I slept, may be it was 3 or 4 I have no idea. My night routine has been disturbed for months now, because when I get the signal to doze off I think its too early and I need to do other things rather than go to bed; therefore, the entire routine is messed up. Sleep is such a vital part of our lives and if we don’t do justice to it our entire immune system pays a very high price, we have zero concentration, everything including our perceptions become blurred....

Getting back to the routines...

Thank God for making Saturdays, they seem to have a magical effect on me. Irrespective if I work or not on Saturdays it is just simply one of the most fulfilling day of the week besides a little drizzle today in the early hours just gave it soothing touch.   Finally, I did manage to do exercise after a gap of I cannot remember how many months, weeks or days and the sort of aches I had afterwards in the muscles, which I never knew have existed, is beyond phrasing. I read that when doing any kind of workout one should change the exercise routine after every 4-6 weeks. If we continue to workout with the same speed or with the same routine our body being very intelligent quickly learns to minimally utilize the stored fat in those repeated movements. So it is advised to change the workout routine to trick the body and not let it get used to the same movements. For instance if you walk for 20 minutes daily then after 4-6 weeks change it 30 minutes or change your time and speed at the tre...