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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Awakening….

Unexplained emotions seems to have become the highlight of my life these days and when I thought about acting on some of the impulses created as a result to those emotions I preferred to follow the “wait and watch” strategy. One of our friends visiting the blog suggested that this particular strategy might not be a good be idea all the time. I respect that suggestion however I also believe that on many occasion things comes up in our minds not directly requiring any action rather they show up only to make us aware of them. The moment we are aware of the emotions and thoughts or mental story they represent, there work is done. Simply by non-judgmental observing we realize where we were wrong, what were our resistances and attachment. On the whole we also realize that those set of emotions and the related memory are not productive to us any more thus they should be allowed to release. You live a substantial time of your life believing you have all the right information a...

Connection

Sometimes one goes through unexplained emotions, you are unable to comprehend the origin or reason of their presence yet they tend to stick around and do their work. As a self-help strategy you could detach and simply observe them to see what images and memories they present to you so as to get any clue. Then you receive vague ideas, however, you are unable to put all the pieces of the puzzle together. Irrespective of how many ideas you have or assumptions you make unless some concrete physical evidence is given you remain in oblivion. The perplexity which I referred to in my earlier post has been settled a bit and for now I have decided to wait and watch. Last night was a night of revelations. As I was trying to focus on my breathing and relax many images and occasions of past emerged. What was surprising to know that when you decide to become a silent observer, devoid of any judgment or resistance or attachment, your intuition present a lot of information which you w...

Grace

Last night was a tough one when I had sprain in my cervical. Although I was experiencing sensations in my head with nausea and giddiness but couldn’t put it all together until last night when all the symptoms took toll on me and I consulted my doctors. Thankfully, everything was taken care of immediately, sensations in head are much reduced and I am feeling better. Standing between certainty and uncertainty, your instinctive side points out one thing and then your rational mind comes in with all its logical explanation. Thus, you end up exactly where you have started. Today is such a day for me when I am at the juncture of decision and indecisiveness. Bewildered because I don’t like unexpected outcomes and end up making a fool of myself. In such situations it is always preferred to consult wise people around you who would in the light of experience would give you guidance; however, in the end of it all you find that the ball is in your court in fact it has never left your ...

Laughing out loud….

Sometimes the most intense situations could become light if you choose to look at them lightly.    I have to come out with a confession today, it might be humorous to you but to me it is serious stuff. Today I received several missed calls consistently on my mobile from an unknown number. For a moment I became a bit excited because I only get necessary phone calls. I stirred up my fantasy or desperation thus I played around with the idea in my mind that some cool dude must be making these calls. You would be surprised that since my teenage till now I have only received approximately 10 wrong calls. In case if there was any missed call from an unknown number, it always turn out that someone in the family or friend’s circle has got a new number. Similar thing happened, few hours later as I picked up the phone with a bit of regret I came to know that the person who was calling me constantly was a plumber who would be working on the pipelines at home. The poor...

Inspiration

Whitney Houston a lady with an incredible voice left us today, at only 48 years of age this doesn't feel the time for her eternal departure yet God's Will is the final say. One of the most amazing singer, pop icon as she was - shall always be remembered like that and would be missed by millions of her fans. I first saw and heard her in the movie “Bodyguard”, since then I had been enthralled by her vocals. A voice like Whitney Houston doesn't come that often and it goes without saying that all her songs were deep and soulful. When she sang we could experience in her voice a spiritual flare. May Whitney Houston rest in peace and find her ultimate happiness. An icon, an affluent Hollywood celebrity yet it is heartbreaking to know that she was truly unhappy as a human being. When I look at these dynamics I wonder that wealth is incomplete unless it is accompanied by peace and prosperity.   Coming to some lively news that Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has gone thro...

Delightful Treats

What a day I had, since morning I have been running around but thankfully doing productive things. After a long time I went for indirect shopping today, indirect because I didn’t have anything to buy for myself but then few things attracted me and I bought them. Probably after my school life I went to Tariq Road for buying some stuff. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this area in Karachi, it is place for some serious shopping mainly for ladies party and informal dresses, shoes and bags. Although I passed this street a million times since my last shopping there but due to heavy traffic could never gather the courage to stop and buy anything. I am glad that I went there, everything has changed immensely and contrary to my fixed idea about the things there I was surprised at the available variety.  Moreover, I was delighted to see a restaurant named “Khausa” in the midst of this very busy street. It is a cozy place which actually serves Khausa and has a good s...

Bits

You can run but you cannot hide- There is just so much going on TV with all the high-profile cases involving some really important people of the country. Lawyers making appearances more than the celebrities and everybody is just glued to their TV sets watching every move and statements of political figures and their lawyers. Whether at work or at home it’s always the new analysis, a layperson is becoming well-conversant with law and the country’s constitution. More than the coverage of high-profile cases it feels that we are watching a suspense thriller and I must say that at times far more intriguing than a thriller. Yesterday a distressing revelation was done on late night news show that the vegetables cultivated at Malir area are polluted not only with sewerage water but also with dangerous toxins. It is believed that 20% of these toxic vegetables have been circulated thorough Karachi, so please avoid to buy any vegetables and if you have, then dispose them.  Hopefu...