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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Colours

         Colours are the perfect therapy for my highly inquisitive and hyper-active mind. When I am with colours every thought every distraction vanishes and I regain my focus. Few times my refuge in colours start as an automatic process, its like my system knows when I need to step back and relax. So here are couple of my relaxation moments, I have completed the one above today and just wanted to show you guys. 'Midnight Blue', Oil Canvas   'The Yellow Palace', Oil Pastel and Pencil Colours I have started to keep colour pencils and a sketchbook with me while I am at work, so when I get stressed I just draw vague lines and colour for few minutes in whichever way I feel like. Similarly, when I need to express and share- this blog becomes my voice. Its actually quite wonderful to have various outlets to say what you wish because some things just get bottled up and if you do not express then they would explode withi...

Lost Love

Life takes unexpected twist and turns and yesterday there was a minor twist in my simple story. Like many of my brothers and sisters in Karachi I too had the honor of loosing my mobile to some thief. It was my very first Smartphone and as I was beginning to fall in love with it, this brutal world took my love away from me. Now I have the heart of a jilted lover. And with this feeling I took my revenge and launched a compliant of phone theft with CPLC and they have jammed it immediately. So you see if it can't be mine it cannot belong to someone else either. So yesterday I spent the entire day in missing my phone; nevertheless, more than loosing that tiny gadget I was feeling low because it was bought from hard earned money.  As I write this post today words of my late grand mother are echoing in  my mind, she always told me that one should never grief over anything or anybody for too long.  So I end it here and now. In the words of Eckhart Tolle- No attac...

Cocktail

After all the hoopla, grueling debates America has selected its President and Mr. Barack Obama is back in the office for another term. As a Pakistani I cannot fully estimate the effect of this election because irrespective who wins the election our condition more or less remains the same. More than the person who is occupying the Oval Office it is important who is the person sitting in our Prime Minister house. Unless we as a nation decides wisely to give power and responsibility to the people who would effectively run this country, we shall always remain at the mercy of powerful countries who will decide our future for us. Nevertheless, in hope I shall live…….. Karachi’s traffic after the bombardment of leased cars, untrained drivers and broken roads is a challenge but it fuels the problem when the main areas of the city are suddenly closed down to have exhibitions. It is beyond reason to shut down everything simply because there cannot be sound security provided f...

A Tribute

Sikandar Sanam- an actor, singer and a versatile comedian left us on 5 th November 2012. Today when somebody mentioned his name and how much he was missed by his fans, I worried that I have been late in paying my respects.     Yes I needed to acknowledge him because he made me laugh. Very few people are gifted to spread joy and happiness to the world and the people who give smiles to our faces are great blessings. Sikandar’s name is not new to the world of comedy and especially his comedy remakes of famous Indian movies are marvelous. Sikandar released these parodies in the DVD versions. Tere Naam 2 which is the parody of Salman Khan’s Tere Naam, was the first movie I saw of Sikandar Sanam and I laughed my lungs out. Even today when I am depressed or down I watch this movie and it never fails to bring a smile to my face. Original Tere Naam was a pretty serious love story but Sikandar changed it to a total   comedy. Sikandar’s comic version attained huge po...

The Magic Wand

‘ Imagine that you have a Magic Wand, and in your mind wave it by giving heartfelt thanks for their wealth, health, and happiness and know that you have set a real force of energy into motion…. You can practice this powerful practice when you’re walking down the street or going about your day and someone you come across who is obviously lacking happiness, health, or wealth, or all of them’. Excerpt from the book ‘The Magic’ by Rhonda Byrne. When I first read these words I didn’t estimate their depth or power. Recently I have started practicing this magic in the million ways that I have never dreamt before. Yes I am practicing the Magic, the Magic of Gratitude. Yesterday I met a lady who was a stranger but since we were doing the same work I tried to speak with her- she responded coldly. I was surprised with her behaviour because she was nice with everyone else but for some reason tried to ignore me. I found that rude and started to make assumptions about he...

Day 367

Today I just want to speak, with out any meaning or aim. Sometimes the words are not relevant but the feelings that are required to be expressed are far more significant. It is also true that many times when we want to speak there is nobody to listen so everything just gets bottled up. I can understand your confusion over what I write but believe me it is not intentional this is how I feel so I just spoke out. The day went in its usual mode thankfully; Mondays are mostly tough to attend to especially after long breaks. Yes this was a long weekend or more appropriately extended Eid holidays. Although people returned to work, children are back to school yet the spirit of holiday was still very much present. I got back to my routines and I am so grateful to start doing exercise after a long while. For many weeks I turned into a couch potato. The food I was eating was high in spices and oil, so finally I decided to wake up and burn bit of calories. I cannot say how much s...

Spaces

There are plans at home to paint few portions and some rooms which are showing signs of wear and tear. However, my main concern is my room’s setting, though it’s a nice sized room but it feels a bit cramped and small. The other rooms in the house which are of the same size looks far more spacious and lite as compared to mine. My room is more like a studio apartment, everyone even the guests choose to sit in my room rather than in the living room. But I feel something is not right about it, I don’t know exactly what but there is something that I need to change. Everything in the room is crucial for me, and there is nothing that I can discard. I like Zen minimalist approach where you have only what you really need. Having said that, my requisite items are now over flowing into other rooms as well. Most of my personal property consists of books and now there is art material, canvases which needs to adjusted as well. When I shifted my office to home I took over my Mom’s musi...