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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Ballerina

What to expect from an unexpected holiday? Despite crucial security situation things have to be managed and obligations are to be fulfilled. Even with all the positive attitude it becomes difficult to witness the bruises and pains caused due to the unfortunate incidents within city as well as in the entire country.    One could not but feel helpless in such times and you wish to have a magic wand. Like it happens in fairy tales when somebody is down with life and have nowhere to go then all of sudden a fairy appears and with one movement of her magic wand she changes everything. In real life although we do not have fairies but we have our prayers, our gratitude and faith in the miracles. We might be helpless on the physical level, nevertheless, on the spiritual level we are not that helpless. We have the power of our mind, our thoughts and feelings. With all the darkness we need to believe in light, the light that will not come from outside but the light wh...

Day 374

Somebody yesterday told me that if I hadn’t put my picture on the blog profile then I could’ve been easily mistaken for a writer who is in her seventies or eighties. That the way I express myself or address my readers it feels like I am their grandmother. I don’t know whether this was a compliment or a comment; in any case I shall take it as a compliment. After all its someone’s opinion and I respect their point of view. It seems as if there is curfew in most parts of the city, there is hardly any traffic on the roads and even if there is some movement it feels lifeless. We are not used to seeing Karachi in such a state, it’s a hustling bustling city of lights and I pray with all my heart that it shall always remain in its full glory. Winters are knocking on the doors but somehow haven’t fully made it into the house. There is something magical about winters in Karachi in particular if there are rains. The mystical effect that cool winter breeze give after rainfall e...

Gap, pause, break and no more…

It feels as if ages have passed but in reality its been only a week since I wrote my earlier post. Many apologies for vanishing like this but it was all due to internet unavailability. I know it’s a very lame excuse; however, I speak the truth and nothing but the truth.   Sometimes though you would like everything to go your way; nevertheless, life follows its own course and it is only wise to go with flow. Else the resistance would cause suffering. So what I have been up to, has there been any updates about any aspect of my life? Well not really its all same old, same old.             This weekend I had some free time as well as a strong desire to watch a good movie so when the opportunity presented itself, I accepted it. We watched the comeback movie of Sridevi English Vinglish . It was a very fine effort and indeed quite a risky project to cast an actress in simple cotton sari without any makeup. The ...

Colours

         Colours are the perfect therapy for my highly inquisitive and hyper-active mind. When I am with colours every thought every distraction vanishes and I regain my focus. Few times my refuge in colours start as an automatic process, its like my system knows when I need to step back and relax. So here are couple of my relaxation moments, I have completed the one above today and just wanted to show you guys. 'Midnight Blue', Oil Canvas   'The Yellow Palace', Oil Pastel and Pencil Colours I have started to keep colour pencils and a sketchbook with me while I am at work, so when I get stressed I just draw vague lines and colour for few minutes in whichever way I feel like. Similarly, when I need to express and share- this blog becomes my voice. Its actually quite wonderful to have various outlets to say what you wish because some things just get bottled up and if you do not express then they would explode withi...

Lost Love

Life takes unexpected twist and turns and yesterday there was a minor twist in my simple story. Like many of my brothers and sisters in Karachi I too had the honor of loosing my mobile to some thief. It was my very first Smartphone and as I was beginning to fall in love with it, this brutal world took my love away from me. Now I have the heart of a jilted lover. And with this feeling I took my revenge and launched a compliant of phone theft with CPLC and they have jammed it immediately. So you see if it can't be mine it cannot belong to someone else either. So yesterday I spent the entire day in missing my phone; nevertheless, more than loosing that tiny gadget I was feeling low because it was bought from hard earned money.  As I write this post today words of my late grand mother are echoing in  my mind, she always told me that one should never grief over anything or anybody for too long.  So I end it here and now. In the words of Eckhart Tolle- No attac...

Cocktail

After all the hoopla, grueling debates America has selected its President and Mr. Barack Obama is back in the office for another term. As a Pakistani I cannot fully estimate the effect of this election because irrespective who wins the election our condition more or less remains the same. More than the person who is occupying the Oval Office it is important who is the person sitting in our Prime Minister house. Unless we as a nation decides wisely to give power and responsibility to the people who would effectively run this country, we shall always remain at the mercy of powerful countries who will decide our future for us. Nevertheless, in hope I shall live…….. Karachi’s traffic after the bombardment of leased cars, untrained drivers and broken roads is a challenge but it fuels the problem when the main areas of the city are suddenly closed down to have exhibitions. It is beyond reason to shut down everything simply because there cannot be sound security provided f...

A Tribute

Sikandar Sanam- an actor, singer and a versatile comedian left us on 5 th November 2012. Today when somebody mentioned his name and how much he was missed by his fans, I worried that I have been late in paying my respects.     Yes I needed to acknowledge him because he made me laugh. Very few people are gifted to spread joy and happiness to the world and the people who give smiles to our faces are great blessings. Sikandar’s name is not new to the world of comedy and especially his comedy remakes of famous Indian movies are marvelous. Sikandar released these parodies in the DVD versions. Tere Naam 2 which is the parody of Salman Khan’s Tere Naam, was the first movie I saw of Sikandar Sanam and I laughed my lungs out. Even today when I am depressed or down I watch this movie and it never fails to bring a smile to my face. Original Tere Naam was a pretty serious love story but Sikandar changed it to a total   comedy. Sikandar’s comic version attained huge po...