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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Day 393

It is truly a phenomenon when ordinary people go through extraordinary experiences in life. There are things for which we have no rational explanation, they just exist. However, it is best that it all turns out to be in peace & joy for all involved. We struggled, ran from place to place in the city in search for a compact espresso coffee machine, finally we got it and at a bargain price. Nevertheless, it has a lot of work and preparation before you are able to get teeny coffee cup. I thought that in the time we had spent making two cups of coffee in machine I would have made ten cups of coffee on stove. Then again the luxury of having a good cup of cappuccino at home is worth the effort..   It has been a long and exciting day so much so that I cannot even think now. I had plans to write on serious issues but I if continued like this, I might doze off on the keyboard. By the way recently I have developed a strange love for Spanish music, I don’t know why, how ...

Twilight

Before anything I give my sincere thanks to Dr. Jabeen for all your love and wonderful healing/ reiki which you have sent my way. I received it and feeling thousand times better now. Thank you so much. I decided to treat myself luxuriously this evening, so I made myself a good cup of coffee with some shami kabab. It made me think that there is nothing more lavish then to have some time for yourself where you pamper yourself; maybe watch a good movie or read a good book, get a new hairstyle. It doesn’t have to expensive material goods just anything that makes you feel luxurious. All our lives we wait for someone or something to make us happy, to show us our true worth or beauty but what we don’t realize is that first we need to treat our self with compassion and respect; leaving behind all the attachments or expectations. Nobody wants to enter a unhappy room but people always love to join the party. So be the party. Luckily for me on cable they were showing Blue Stre...

Day 391

Last few days on the political front in Pakistan had been crucial. Everyone was glued to their TV sets watching anxiously the future of the long march which took the country by storm. We have to admit that as a nation our people have shown their moral strength, discipline to achieve a common goal. Freezing temperature and little children, ladies, gents and elders were sitting with all the patience. It was remarkable to see this side of the picture. Nevertheless, I feel that the true test of this long march will be at and during the elections. All we have to do as a country is to watch everything with our fingers crossed. Yesterday I had a wonderful experience with painting. Like many painters I always worked with oil paints and thought that they were my destiny but yesterday it was a new beginning. I experimented with acrylic paints and they are pure magic.  With oils you need high maintenance and a lot of patience with the constant smell of turpentine and ker...

A Golden Affair

What a hectic last week I had, so many things had to be managed which were pending for some time now.               Although you move on with life with the best positive attitude but the conditions in the country have their effect. The worse thing which you feel is being helpless- just standing there numbly. Only and if only our Government show some seriousness, a bit dedication things can come under control.              Everybody in power is busy with their own golden affairs giving it a damn to the public, their lives and their dignity. Human life is cheaper than a vegetable. The worse part of the situation is that we have become insensitive, immune to this misery. Loss of precious human lives have been reduced to the number count in the breaking news.               It is said that the rulers of ...

Security Alarm

Yesterday evening as I was preparing to write the blog suddenly I heard some movement downstairs, within minutes I was told that some thieves have entered our neighbour’s home. There were security alarms, guards and on-time police. It appeared like a movie scene, police were on the roof with flashlights and announcements to surrender. Thankfully, thankfully nothing happened and thieves ran off without causing any trouble most probably due to the high-tech alarm systems. What has happened to Karachi, anyone you meet these days have their own robbery or mobile snatching tale. You buy a new expensive phone and you are afraid to take it outside your house. Not long ago car theft or mobile snatching was unheard of in Karachi. Ladies would wear their gold ornaments without any fear and now even the brides wear artificial jewelry on their wedding day. So much has changed today, however, if that time didn’t last then I have faith that this time shall also pass. Nothing...

Day 388

There were quite a few things that I wanted to talk about but as I sit here trying to write something, I feel lack of energy. Energy drain is due to my indisposition, I hope to get better soon and express at length what I needed to focus on. Something is working on the back of my mind and I badly need to confirm it. Its like knowing that you have done well in exams but until you see the result with your own eyes you are not satisfied. I too have given my best shot and now just waiting to see its magnificent outcome. Its like I have been unknowingly involved in a project, I didn’t know what it was all about or why did it begin in the first place. However as I moved along, with all my faith, everything began to take shape. Moreover, I discovered that it’s a very interesting process and there is no harm in going beyond your normal strengths. Ok enough of my blabbering, I just had my acupressure session and I am feeling relaxed which is bordering to sleepiness so I don’...

Early Monday

Today I write in early, way early than my usual timing but its better to express yourself when you feel like, rather you wait for the right moment. Finally after a lot of negotiations with myself I came to a resolution, and at last I decided that I cannot make everything right. That sometimes things need to get out of order and fall apart so a new and beautiful order can be made. For quite some time I have been struggling with myself and trying to do what is right. However, I didn’t realize that what I believed to be right could be extremely wrong for many people including myself. We humans make our decisions based on the evidence which we perceive through our five senses. Nevertheless, there are moments when our sixth sense intervene and compels us to go beyond our five senses and take a leap of faith; to only focus on the purity of my intentions and peace for everybody. That is exactly what I am doing, I am stepping into the unknown with my faith intact. Somebody I...