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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Four W's

So many of us are afraid to die, we fail to live. We will not take chances when they present any form of risk. Are you really alive when you hide yourself away from people or experiences you believe can hurt you, harm you, or in some way take your life away? When we don't live because of the fear of dying, we die without ever having lived. Iyanla Vanzant ( Author & inspirational Speaker). Something struck me about these words and I couldn’t help but adding them to today’s post. Its strange but I feel that God talks to us in many ways because just this morning I was struggling in my mind about meeting some people. Although other guests are trying their best to convince me to come; they tell me that its all going to be great and I am just being unreasonable. Still I am resisting and giving all kinds of excuses to myself as to why I shouldn’t go. In my mind I am convinced that my decision is right, as usual. However after reading above lines I am not really sure. N...

Day 438

Me at 2 am in the morning, wide awake as if I have taken many cups of strongest coffee but no dear there is no caffeine in the system. I have decided, for at least, in this month to detoxify caffeine from my system.  My mind cannot afford any more stimulation as it is far too excited on its own, once again the reason for such excitement is unknown to me. Sleep and I are not getting along these days, slightest of movement anywhere and I am up. Experts recommend meditation and relaxation exercises for such state, nevertheless; the more I try these techniques the more hyper I become. It is strange that few issues/ situations keep revolving in my mind 24/7 involuntary, and I believe they are asking me to give them attention. Sometimes few things keep popping up in mind because they need to be resolved, or they require some kind of action from us. However, what can be done if you have no clue what to do with them? As a consequence of this inability, sleep gets vic...

The Blessed Ramadan

The Holy Month of Ramazan is here and although a bit late, nevertheless; I wish you all the peace, love, prosperity and millions of blessings. So many blessings to gain and so little time to pray, we take a breath and this month flies by. Yet the miracle of this Blessed Month is that whatever little we gain is enough for a lifetime. Another integral part of this month is fast and breaking of the fast, with lots of options to delight the flavour buds. However, I think moderation is the key here. Eat what you like but keep everything in a balance with your digestive system or else heavy acidity, fatigue would become your permanent friends. My favourite dish in iftaari (breaking time of the fast) are pakoras, I cannot live without them they are my life and love of my heart and soul. Especially when they are accompanied by spicy green chutney.  Yet irrespective of my love for pakoras, I realize that it is after all a lethal attraction. Once you eat two or t...

The Light

Excited but tired; imaginative but frenzied.   I have no idea how can I feel all this in one go, but this is life. It takes you to the journeys unknown, the paths which you never knew existed begin to appear in your awareness. One thing I have noticed that if you start to walk on the path of complaining about every little problem in your life, it will never change anything. The more you complain, become the victim, blame others- the more life would throw people and situations in your face who would constantly keep you in that negative zone. Prayers are integral for living a good life but if you don’t know the basic laws of universe upon which this world operates, then trust me you shall continue to live in the same misery circle. First I always tell myself that what I give, comes back to me. To every action there is always an equal & opposite reaction. If I give appreciation, compassion or knowledge- it will always return to me. Similarly, i f I complain, b...

To be or not to be

To be or not to be... William Shakespeare's Hamlet. No please, I am not going to get into any intellectual stuff. It’s just that these words keep coming into my mind, for reasons unknown, my English class and the teacher and the elementary school are all roaming in my mind these days. It is strange that I am even dreaming my school, the place where we used to have our art classes, the Montessori classes. It all seems so real that if I want I can probably touch those images. Brain and its memories are indescribable phenomena they take to the journeys where you once had been. However, I have to say there has to be some solid reason for such wanderings or else this could be simply the result of an empty mind. Me and my stories...Anyways Ramadan is   just around the corner and we have already started to see the chaos and panic on the main avenues of the city. I always fail to understand what is in this Holy month that makes people odd, what is there that everyone se...