Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase. It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions. This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
Wow! My life has seemed to fly with the speed of a rocket, and I have been unsuccessful to register any of it. For about a week or more circumstances in my life have altered dramatically: please note that I am neither married nor engaged, yet. It all relates to my work.
I feel as I have reached a Full Circle moment in my life. Well, whatever it is whether for long term or temporarily, all I have to do is to give my 100% and be authentic. I have learned that instead of telling God, this or that is my purpose, I always ask that Supreme Intelligence as to what He wants from me.
When you are so full of ideas or thoughts of how things should or shouldn’t be then you interfere with His plans. So I have learned not to bombard my life with my own thoughts or ideas and simply to move out of my way.
For such a long time I have been living in the Island of my comfort zone, meeting or not meeting people, doing or not doing anything, meditating, practicing consciousness. Then few months ago, I had a voice saying me to wake up and get out there. “For so long you have lived in your comfort zone and now it is time to think about entering the physical world. You don’t have to do anything, all you had to do is to have the Intention”, the Voice told me.
It was the same compelling voice which last year told me to find Dr. Zainab Bhaiji. I didn’t have her number or her address or remembered her last name but then within 30 minutes I made some calls, searched and contacted her. At that time I could not understand why I was sent there, however, I gradually realized that I needed healing for my writer’s cramp and slight hormonal disturbance; conditions which I had for some years. I also learned about myself, about my capabilities which I never knew to have existed in me. So many veils lifted and I faced some truths.
A word of caution here, not every voice you hear is an intuition but some are mere noises and wish/worry of your mind. So if you have an impulse wait for some time, if it is only noise it will subside but if its true intuition things will become easy and effortless and then ultimately the true intuition will gush you out of the way. More importantly with real intuition you don't have to do anything at all, you will go with the flow.
We always think of ourselves as one-dimensional cardboard image of us. We decide what we can do or cannot do, but when we truly empty our minds from stereotypes, mindsets, judgments, guilt, fear, wishes, hidden agendas; something beautiful and surprising emerges from within. Then we understand that we have such a limited view of ourselves.
As I try to comprehend my life situations, I take your leave.
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Sonya. (Day 199)
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