Misperceptions

Salaam,Good-Evening, Adaab,- I hope that everybody is in good health & times and I wish that you all are.

What should I talk about today was the main concern and after a bit of thinking I decided to write about something personal. I wanted to clear out few misperceptions about me being still single. I know you all must be wandering why does she has to make a big deal about herself and what possibly could be interesting to us about the fact that she is single or married.

Nevertheless, there have been some silent questions and concerns and I just have an inkling that now is the time for some clarity.

Several people have raised concerns whether my being the only child is the reason for  not getting married? Or whether I and my mother are devastatingly attached to each other that the idea of separating us is not even acceptable to either of us? Or whether my mother is so possessive of me that she refuses everyone quietly on her own without even asking me?

Of course none of the above questions were raised as bluntly as I have mentioned them yet they exist.

So as embarrassing as it is, I shall still address these concerns. First of all I accept that I am the only child and yes that I am attached to my mother and worry about her a great deal. Yes I am also concerned as to what would become of her after my marriage yet this is also true that the relations which I would develop afterwards would be my additional support.

Childhood and the academic years of the only child are wonderful but when one begins to grow up you realize that being the only child is not that exciting at all. Everyone is busy in there lives our friends, other family members and there are times when you need more people around you. Onlyness, if that is any word, is the biggest motivating factor for my developing of more relations. The idea of extending my family and developing a strong support system by means of in-laws is nothing less than a blessing.

Now the devastating attachment idea between me and mother is nothing more than the normal bond that exists in a healthy relationship between any mother and daughter.

However, I must explain that I have an inherent tendency to be concerned about everyone whom I know and sometimes whom I don’t know. When anybody even our domestic staff gets 20 minutes late I panic; I just want to call them and check if they are fine. If one of my cousin-brothers go out at a wedding and they are late for 15 minutes I become a psycho who would bombard them with million text messages and hundred calls. So most of the time when they go out they don’t even inform me.

My mother and my Doctor friend Dr. Zainab Bhaiji calls me a delicate darling- So worrying for the world, let alone my mother is a part of my constitution and I cannot help it- and I have no apologies for that either.

Last but not least, whether my mom is so possessive that she would not let anybody come within 10 miles radius around me. All I can say that like any mother Amma has many sleepless nights worrying about my single status and I have agreed to tie the knot and settle down with someone because that would make Amma and my (late) father, very happy.

Moreover Amma has a pretty democratic decision making routine. Every decision which is made in my home is always in my knowledge and/or have my consent.

I am quite independent in my life’s decision-making process. However, I always take advice of my elders, my friends and even the youngest family members, even my senior colleagues if they are available; then I gather all the data to incorporate it in my final decision.

I beg for your excuse if my Traditional readers have found today's post rather audacious. However, sometimes bluntness becomes a necessity.

I hope that I am able to clear the air and clarify misperceptions to some extent. 

I would also welcome your feedback / comments on this post.

Until tomorrow my friends, Adios Amigos.

My love to all.

Sonya. (Day 205)