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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...
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Operation cleanup

Sitting in the company of my computer for hours is bit burdensome on my poor back and eyes. Today I finally decided to complete all the work that has been pending for some weeks and take up the most excruciating task of cleaning up PC hard-drive. This task of cleaning up I have deliberately delayed for months, no for years.

So today I gathered all my stamina and said grace, a prayer of gratitude, before I began the clean up. To my surprise what I assumed as impossible not only became very easy for me but it gave me immense joy and the feeling of freedom.

To my surprise I cleaned up more than 25,000 items collectively both from my PC hard-drive and USB. These files were sitting in the computer for some six years now and I just couldn’t gather the time or the courage to check every item and get rid of the unwanted ones.

I wish that we humans could have such system of cleaning up of our minds and hearts. I wish we could go into depth of our minds where we can locate all the memories, thoughts & emotions which are useless for us now and just press Delete. I wish we could have a recycle bin attached to our hearts, that would have helped a great deal.

I wish that we get to keep only which is loving and productive for us in the now. I wish and I wish…….

I wish all the happiness in the world for you all.

Love.

Sonya (Day 345).

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