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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Day 124 & Hesitations

   Lazy start of the day with an even lazy and late lunch is no less than a luxury to me. It’s a luxury when one does things at ones own desire and only when there is an absolute need for them.    There are moments when we would want to get in touch with someone but then our past experiences with them, their impressions on our mind or our own over-estimations of either people or situation forbids us to make that first move, that dreaded first move. Albeit how much we would like to communicate, our preconceived notions hinder our every move or our apprehension takes over our rational capacity to do what is right. I cannot say if there is any solution to this problem but all what I knew from my experience is to completely surrender your matter, whatever it is, to God. In these moments it is best to seek counsel of the One who is the best Knower of all things- past, present and future. Our judgements, estimations are majority of times incorrect as we do not possess th...

Voice in the Head (Part 2 Day 123)

   Final day of festive holidays and from tomorrow life would once again get back to its normality and the same routine. Come to think of the routine life I believe it to be a blessing because it is an indicator that we are not going through any unusual excitement of life, no highs no lows just a straight horizontal line in the midst of the blank canvas.       While I was away from my PC I was anxious to open it and share a thought or two with all of you and now when I am finally sitting in front of it I don’t have any thoughts in mind. There is stillness in the mind and neutrality in the feelings, which is again a blessing and a fruit of one & half years of thorough mental and emotional labour.      Most of the life situations that we find ourselves in are worsened by our negative, constant and repetitive thinking. Situations are always neutral rather it is how we choose to perceive or label them makes them the experiences of hell or hea...

Eid Mubarak

I wish all of you a warm and loving Eid Mubarak and I pray that this auspicious day may bring love, peace & joy in the lives of all.      There was almost pin drop silence on the Eid Day with minimum of movement in the vicinity. Now on the second day of Eid we finally have some activity on the streets and it feels more like a festival. I have to say that this has been by far one of the most beautiful and pleasant Eid I have ever experienced. The weather was simply breathtaking- it was sunny and warm during the day and exceptionally cloudy in the late afternoon, the winds were soft yet heavy with shrubbery blossoming everywhere; and the energy felt in the entire atmosphere was absolutely magnificent.      It is quite amazing to notice as to how swiftly the days are passing by; or is it that we are increasingly becoming busy and engrossed with our minds and its constant thinking or chatter which has placed us in a trance-like state, hence we could not be...

Many apologizes.....

Many many apologizes for my absence but the paucity of time and my lack of energy are the main causes for my distance from you all. Doing something for a long time and then suddenly taking such prolonged breaks is tremendously burdensome for my poor constitution; there is always a guilt for the lack of discipline and not being able to talk with you all regularly.   Past 10 or 15 days I am not feeling well and not in those high spirits, so to open up my PC for even checking my emails seemed like a gigantic task. Nevertheless, on Eid or soon after that I would do my best to get back to the routine, but for now sorry for the quick and brief post.   Till we meet again I would take your leave and shall try to come on the blog as often as possible. Take really good care of yourselves.   Good Night. Sonya. (Day 121)

Sense & Sensibility

I always look in awe at the people who are peppy or in positive spirits most of the time, the energy or the vibe they emit is amazing and it has the capability of transforming the frequency of all those that are around them. I only stand in astonishment and wonder what do they do differently? As the day begins we all have our shares of anxiety or stress or fear in one form or the other in varying degrees. With so much going on every moment then how these positive people get around the day? Is there some strategy they adopt or is it the way their constitution has been built by God? I guess that it is our purpose in life to find out our own answers to these questions-by the process of trial and error, if we are not built naturally to be positive then it would our individual goal and journey to discover that which not only works best for us individually but for everybody collectively. Most of the Ramadan has passed and now this is the time of last 10 days for all the devo...

Its good to be back...

     It’s only been 7 or 8 days since I last showed up on the blog but it feels like ages have gone by; the most familiar of environs are appearing to be quite strange. Probably this is what time does to us; it has the greatest inherent quality of making things hazy in our memories, maybe this is why time is known as the best healer. First it gradually fades the memory and then the pain associated with that particular memory diminishes bit by bit.  I wonder is there any exception to this rule, is it possible to remember somebody or something which at a certain point in time seemed trivial and easily dispensable yet when it disappears from the proximity could leave an indelible mark on our consciousness. Do share with me if anyone of you had such an experience.      Nevertheless it feels good to be back, back to the routine which has now become the most vital part of my day. Although I finished up my work on Sunday but then th...