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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Serendipity

Something absolutely magical happened with me today and I very much would like to share it will all of you. I bought a clothing material for myself few days ago and wanted to stitch it in a particular design; however, I needed a sample picture of that design and the only way I could get that was from the internet. But as usual due to my laziness I was reluctant to open my PC, surf the net and take the print out. Today, in the afternoon as I came out of my room I saw on the dining table latest copy of an exclusive magazine which had that particular design and many others. The amazing or spooky part is that no one in the house has either bought or ordered that magazine yet its brand new issue in the most pristine condition was just lying in our garage. All I could say is that it has fallen directly from the sky, right into my lap. At first I was trying to figure out how this has happened because nobody else besides me both in my family and in friends circle was aware th...

Joy

What a day I had, a beautiful one on the exterior but within I lacked the kick, the energy and most of the time my concentration. But now as I sit before my PC with the intention of connecting with you all I could sense in myself a glimpse of peace especially after I had my good o’le cup of cold coffee. As I inscribe these words, light cold breeze is titillating my face and the quietude outside is enthralling the mind. So I take two deep breadths and try my best to bring focus on the matter at hand. Its been a week where I have met new faces and fortunately the experiences of their proximity is a positive one as well. However, few old faces remain engraved in mind and I only wonder when and how would I be able to meet them, if I meet them at all. Has anyone of you experienced ten emotions in one go, I think not and to be honest it is neither a wonderful feeling. As we grow up our perspective alters completely about many of the things which we once considered crucial or vita...

Such a relief!!!

It is such an enormous relief to finally get over with the test and all the preparations which goes along with it. Although this test was no university or college examination however it is about a subject which I have studied on my very own initiative and now I await as to what might the future holds for me. Sometimes the hindrances of time and space are dissolved; even though we are not in the proximity of some people yet whenever either or both of us want we could be together and then there is no need for our physical presence, just being with someone in mind and spirit suffices. I have experienced this wonder with my mother, my other family members and friends and every time I go through it I cannot but feel energized and peaceful. Weather is changing quietly, the heat, the humidity of day and night is transforming into a pleasant wintry season. It is now the time when woollies are taken out from the storage; a time when men on handcarts in the street outside our homes would call ...

Day 138/139

It’s the most awaited day tomorrow and I have butterflies in my stomach, coupled with anxiety pangs. It is weird that even after spending a lifetime with tests and exams one still become anxious-nervous. I have been not at all looking forward for my test day yet it is finally here; I would definitely need all your prayers. I had the most gastronomic delight in lunch today and all its credit goes to my Mom who prepared the most delicious prawn biryani. Of course I ate beyond my normal limits and as a consequence I am all relaxed and laid-back in body but my mind is far away from being relaxed. I need to revise everything and I need energy, the irony is I cant take coffee or my favourite green tea as it would leave me in insomnia- so God Bless me!! Sorry for this brief post and impersonal post but the time calls for other commitments as well, so I would take your leave darlings… Good Evening and take care….. Sonya. (Day 138/139)

Routines

Long working days with erratic sleeping habits could continue smoothly for a little while only and then comes the spiraling down period. The most crucial aspect of life: sleep , when gets ignored or bullied it could give some unhealthy results and this is what happened in my case. I, for so long have been going to sleep pass the due bedtime and as a consequence I am unable to concentrate or focus on any thing now, my taste buds are upset and my memory is affected as well; most of the time I feel drowsy or just want to sleep. So please if any of you does the same thing with your sleep then do take care of yourself. All these apparently little things are not that inconsequential after all, because of the seemingly trivial things in life could prove vital to your existence. I have a burning desire to learn playing a guitar yet I could not find an appropriate teacher. It is such an irony that whenever we want something desperately in our lives it drifts farther away from us, may be our d...

Thank you!!

THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH FOR ALL YOU WARM WISHES….. There is need, there is exhaustion, eyes are heavy with sleep yet there is no desire to go to bed rather you would just want to waste time and hang around without any reason; a perfect example of self-torture. Being sane and an adult why do I need to behave in such a ridiculous way I cannot understand. But then there are our idiotic moments where we bully our common sense and inner voice and follow arduously whatever our thinking mind tells us. Yesterday has been so busy and fun; besides this was first my birthday which I truly enjoyed, of course it was nothing glamorous but a simple and quite dinner with family. Nevertheless, the peace and enthusiasm within me extended beyond all limits. And I cannot thank God enough for all that He has blessed me with...THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!   I have just read an incredible passage/ interview of my favourite writer Eckhart Tolle so I would like to share it with all you. “ Eckhart on Unem...

Twist & turns

Life takes such unexpected twist and turn, you expect one thing and something completely different falls in your lap. Although these changes appears unwarranted on the first look however as and when the time moves on one begin to realize that whatever happened is perfect and nothing else is relevant. We look for answers to some of our most dreaded questions in all the places which one could comprehend  not knowing that all the replies to all that is lie within or so very near us. I too have been searching for some answers, for some clarity, and today out of blue where I least expected my answers started to come through; nevertheless, a little more time is needed to clear all the fog. Robot starring Aishwarya Rai Bachchan and Rajnikant has been released and it’s been declared a phenomenal hit with record breaking business. For every film which does well or very well at the box-office is always proclaimed by the media or marketing pundits to have broken all the previous recor...