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My Two Cents

Allhumdolillah! I am at a much better place since my last post with series of lab tests, utlrasounds, a mammogram and some other really scary tests, and a gut wrenching anxiety of results. I am doing well thankfully everything was clear except low iron levels with vitamin d3 deficiency. These deficiencies are now on their way to recovery. It is worth noting that I have been struggling with intense brain and physical fatigue since 2019 but not a single doctor was able to identify my problem. Once somebody is diagnosed with depression or anxiety then every health issue they complain about is looked from the psychological lenses. Nobody asked me to check iron, vitamin b12 or vitamin d3 deficiencies even my mum who is a dermatologist always assured me that I am fine and this weakness is just a phase.   It was a phase alright, it engulfed almost 8 years of my life pushed back my career and research ambitions.  This is not the case alone with me but there are many people who silentl...

Day 442

I wish I could gather the strength to say something but the influence of influenza is quite heavy on me hence it is difficult to concentrate on the words. Slight harshness in the throat and you cannot even function properly, and then one thing flows from another. The only desire that you have at such times is to regain your health and strength. The person who said, Health is Wealth, is phenomenal and he is going to have presence till eternity due to his words. When we are in the best of health we take it so lightly as if it is our birthright, but wait for the moment when your body temperature raises few degrees higher. We need to be grateful for every breath, for every healthy organ, for all the perfectly working cells & tissues, for our five senses and the perfectly functioning body systems. Taking a small step in darkness distresses us, we try to quickly reach for light. Imagine living without our eyes for even a day.  So much is given to us, yet so little...

Changing trends

What a week it has been....from the end of the Blessed month of Ramadan, followed by beautiful Eid, to Pakistan’s 66 th birthday on 14 th August. So much has changed yet everything seems to be the same. Sometimes change happen so delicately that even the person going through it is unaware, nevertheless, it is only at a certain moment you realize that something is different. That you are different.... Eid and 14 th August used to be completely different when I was a kid, which is not so long ago by the way. On Eid my friends and I were always committed to give each other greeting cards which used to have most delightful writings and drawings personally done by all of us. To hold something tangible in your hands like a card has a beautiful feeling, its like your own energy gets transferred to the other person. SMS, e-cards and Facebook’s ‘Eid Mubarak to all family & friends’ are no comparison to such personal touches. Not until too long ago I had a rule to ...

Words

Enough is enough! I just cannot contain it anymore- the words need to come out and I need to speak up or else it will take my breath away, literally. I am amazed at how much I am deeply attached to this blog and talking to you all, that these few days of separation between us and I could not even sleep properly. So what happened, where did I lost my pace? All I can say that I am just a lazy person who is unable to properly manage her daily routine. Whenever there was time and space to write something, I didn’t have the right energy to focus on anything. Fasting changes you, especially if you do not have proper plans to manage your routines. Presidential elections are on their way, although in our parliamentary system President is merely a symbol of the solidarity of the State. Nevertheless, with our past experiences of excessive dictatorship President inevitably takes up an important position. From the news it all seems that elections are only a formality because ev...

Four W's

So many of us are afraid to die, we fail to live. We will not take chances when they present any form of risk. Are you really alive when you hide yourself away from people or experiences you believe can hurt you, harm you, or in some way take your life away? When we don't live because of the fear of dying, we die without ever having lived. Iyanla Vanzant ( Author & inspirational Speaker). Something struck me about these words and I couldn’t help but adding them to today’s post. Its strange but I feel that God talks to us in many ways because just this morning I was struggling in my mind about meeting some people. Although other guests are trying their best to convince me to come; they tell me that its all going to be great and I am just being unreasonable. Still I am resisting and giving all kinds of excuses to myself as to why I shouldn’t go. In my mind I am convinced that my decision is right, as usual. However after reading above lines I am not really sure. N...

Day 438

Me at 2 am in the morning, wide awake as if I have taken many cups of strongest coffee but no dear there is no caffeine in the system. I have decided, for at least, in this month to detoxify caffeine from my system.  My mind cannot afford any more stimulation as it is far too excited on its own, once again the reason for such excitement is unknown to me. Sleep and I are not getting along these days, slightest of movement anywhere and I am up. Experts recommend meditation and relaxation exercises for such state, nevertheless; the more I try these techniques the more hyper I become. It is strange that few issues/ situations keep revolving in my mind 24/7 involuntary, and I believe they are asking me to give them attention. Sometimes few things keep popping up in mind because they need to be resolved, or they require some kind of action from us. However, what can be done if you have no clue what to do with them? As a consequence of this inability, sleep gets vic...